When you’re at the point where it’s:
You 1 – Narcissist 0…
…It’s time to celebrate.
More than that though, it’s time to reflect and see how you got to the point where you’ve actually beaten them.
Many victims think this is impossible, but you’ve proven it can be done.
So, what did you need in order to do so? How did you beat them exactly?
I have 11 signs where you know you’ve done a good job at it…
Are You Here Yet?
Oh how I wish for you all to be right here, right now! All that time of being under the controlling thumb of the narcissist has to stop sometime, and I so wish it was down to you taking control and saying, “No more!”
It takes a lot of time and realization to get to that point, and I know you all have it in you to beat toxicity directly.
What Beating The Narcissist Feels Like
If you had been under the spell and control of somebody so frightfully manipulative, how would you feel?
- Empowered?
- Relieved?
- Scared?
- Uncertain?
- Anxious?
- Happy?
- Thankful?
- Free?
- Guilty?
None of these emotions are wrong – it’s a time for real mixed emotions and I don’t imagine any is going to be the sole emotion you’d feel. We chop and change as the days pass, and there’s no right or wrong.
11 Signs You Have Beaten The Narcissist
1. You Don’t Miss Them
So let’s look at all the ways you know you’ve beaten the narcissist.
What a joy to wake up every morning and not have to soothe your aching heart.
The worst thing about missing somebody is all the memories you pluck from your mind to reinforce their absence. When that becomes your norm every day, life can get pretty tough.
Beating the narcissist begins with that beautiful realization that you actually don’t miss them any longer.
You don’t miss the 5% good times versus the 95% bad. You don’t miss a thing.
This means a little more than that too, as missing them is often linked with the attachment you had with them.
Feeling as though you wouldn’t let them go because of that ‘bond’ will have had you pining for them for far too long.
Now – all of that is over, and you feel freer!
2. You Begin To Rebuild Your Life
It’s not easy rebuilding your life after narcissistic abuse. Most people don’t even know where to start because all they’ve experienced is being told what to do, and what not to do (either directly or indirectly).
Suddenly there you are, with a world wide open ahead of you, and you’re responsible for how to fill it all. As daunting as that can seem, beginning to do that is how you know you’ve beaten the narcissist.
It takes courage to rebuild. It is admirable to pull together what’s left of your confidence and self-esteem to feel worthy enough to do so.
This is a huge step in beating the narcissist.
3. Goodbye to Guilt
Guilt goes right out the window the second you start beating the narcissist!
You don’t sit there any more, cowering over what was and feeling bad about it.
Nobody tells you to inject shame into your thoughts, opinions or actions. You don’t have that dark cloud of manipulation over your head.
And now? You own your choices. You don’t reflect on the past and feel terrible about outcomes.
The only reason you felt guilty when you were with the narcissist is because taught you how to take responsibility for their actions and behavior.
But none of it was you.
4. The Happiness Creeps Back In
Happiness will slowly start to filter its way back into your life as you beat the narcissist. You’ll start to enjoy everything again.
From music, exercise, baking, catching up on your favorite shows, meeting friends, and even enjoying work!
All the things the narcissist held you back from or criticized you for will start to make a reentry – and you will love it.
5. Acceptance – It Is What It Is
Okay, okay – it’s a phrase that can divide people!
Truly though – your past happened, and the person you thought was perfect turned out to be a narcissist.
You no longer mull it over, wish it worked out differently, regret it, or punish yourself.
It is what it is.
Acceptance.
This happened, I can’t change it. I am now going to live my life and close that chapter.
6. You No Longer Feel Responsible
Why should you? Their moods aren’t your problem, and they never were.
The difference now is that you’re awakened to it, and it feels immediately lighter than it did.
Knowing you aren’t responsible for the narcissist, how the relationship played out, or their behavior in general means you can finally feel what it’s like to be free – and innocent!
7. You Don’t Care To Play
Games? Sure! You love a board game, or a card game.
Narcissism games? No thanks.
You’re done. You were there, you unknowingly played it for a time, and now you’re done.
You won’t be drawn in or tempted, and nothing they say or do will make you want to be a part of it again.
8. The Hoovering Doesn’t Work
Oh look, here comes the narcissist. They’re going to tell me that they love me. They’re going to tell me that they can’t live without me. They’re going to apologize.
Wait, what’s this? A new technique?
Suddenly, they up their game. They turn up at your work with flowers. They ask you to marry them. They book a weekend away for you, and all expenses are paid.
But you?
No!
You don’t buy it. You’re not interested, and you see these gestures for what they are:
Empty ways to hoover you back and begin that cycle of abuse all over again.
9. You Laugh Rather Than Cry
Laughing is good for the soul, and it’s clear you’ve missed out on a lot of that with the narcissist.
You find your laughter all over again when it comes to beating them.
Crying has been how you’ve previously coped, and now you’re discovering a lighter zest for life.
What a way to prove that you can rise above it all!
10. You Look After Yourself
Started to care about what you look and feel like? Giving yourself opportunities to eat well instead of poorly?
Have you started to work out, or do something that raises those happy hormones?
What about sleep? Making sure you’re getting more of that, and better quality?
That’s because you’ve beaten the narcissist, and you no longer have to listen to them try to bring you down every single day.
11. They Turn To Another
Fed up with trying to play games that no longer work, the narcissist will eventually tire of you and move on to a new supply.
Be thankful if this happens. You’ve proven they can’t get to you and know this about you too.
