They’re sleeping in your bed, taking up your space, and disturbing your presence. Narcissists just know how to be around you while at the same time planning their escape.
They want to break up with you, but you’re blissfully unaware of the games they’re playing.
That is, until now. If you want to keep a step ahead of the game, you’ve got to know what they’re doing.
These 11 things are crucial tactics to look out for, so let’s get into it.
The Nerve!
There is never any peace all the while a narcissist is sleeping in your bed. I know you want there to be, but don’t count on any rest while they’re laid up next to you.
I can only describe the feeling as being totally disconnected from who you are that you no longer feel that sense of safety and calm.
The worst part is that victims never connect it to being closed up with a narcissist until they’re too far gone in terms of emotional turmoil.
When they want to break up with you, they will work out a way to do that alongside keeping you seet and laying down to sleep next to you every single night.
You’ll never fully know what’s going on in their mind, but that’s how they like it.
#1 Affection? Withheld!
I don’t know about you, but I love that feeling of going to bed together, laying down and just staring at the ceiling.
A little kiss or hug, but at the very least, the mutual acknowledgement that you’re there together, and enjoying that moment positively.
Don’t count on it with any narcissist, and I truly mean that. To them, affection means sex or nothing.
If they want to break up with you, they will even withhold that – the one thing you thought you had that meant you could connect for at least a brief period of time in the day.
It feels cold, doesn’t it? When affection gets thrown out of the window, you have to ask yourself what exactly is good about what’s left over?
There’s nothing, and nothing will make up for that fact. You’ll sit there and wonder what you’ve done wrong (yet again), and they will think the distance they’re creating is the preface to the story of your demise.
#2 Overnight Vanishing Acts
Where are they? Do they know what time it is? Why are they so late? Why are they not answering their phone? Why did they promise this wouldn’t keep happening?
I’ll tell you why. It’s because they’ve already started on their new life, and they’re fully establishing that before they leave the one they have currently with you. If they can do that, they will transition from present to future with ease.
The vanishing act of the narcissist is drawn to provide you with that gut feeling of what’s coming.
You can sense they’ve pulled away, and you know that no matter what you try to say or do to convince them otherwise, their mind is firmly made up.
But wait … they finally do arrive home and creep into your bed like nothing happened – and that is what gets to you the most. Why can’t they just be honest with you?
Oh, wait. We’re talking about narcissists, here. They don’t know the meaning of the word.
#3 Guarding Phone Late Night
What’s unfolding on the phone, then? Oh, you don’t want to tell us? There’s a shock. I bet you’re already lining up not one, but two new interests to replace me, right?
I hear and feel those words, or even thoughts, that victims have to endure on the lead up to a break up.
It’s like they have started to create an entirely new life without you, which let’s be real, is the literal only way they’re going to leave you.
No narcissist leaves their victim with nothing to go to, so that phone will be locked to their side, and guarded with everything they have.
#4 Apartment Hunting in Secret
You’ll never know all the property apps they have on their phone, but that’s what they’re doing when you’re not looking.
It’s important for them to know what they can afford, and where they can go when they leave you. Without it, they have no clue.
Isn’t it sad that while you’re laying there oblivious to what they’re doing, you’re happy and feeling promising about the relationship that you have together?
#5 Finances Suddenly Split
If they earn more than you, narcissists are going to want to protect what they have so that you no longer have access to it.
After all, being alone will mean they need every cent they earn. No longer do you need to be getting your hands on it.
It’s a heavy thing when narcissists assert their finances, maybe even setting up a secret account that they pay into using your joint account. All I am saying is – keep a lookout.
#6 Blame Stories Planted and Watered
Suddenly everything is your fault, and the narcissist isn’t stopping at just telling you, they tell others, too!
Little crop dusted nuggets of information that is quite frankly incorrect will be what they need to help matters be taken into their own hands.
Where there’s blame, there’s your name attached to it. The worst thing is knowing that very person is then coming to bed and sleeping with you every night.
#7 New Supply Getting Love-Bombed
Gotta set the next person up before you become yesterday’s news, right?
That’s what they do. Rather than go it alone and, dare I say, reflect on their behavior, they’re getting ready to do the exact same thing all over again to somebody else.
You have no idea because you assume everything’s fine. They’re laying down next to you and telling you goodnight.
This is the very thing that rocks the safe feeling toxic characters palace on another, when in fact it’s nothing but a lie.
#8 Items Getting Slowly Packed Away
You’ll notice everything becoming clearer and clearer, and you’ll think, “Wow, the palace looks really tidy.”
In reality, they are packing their lives up and getting ready to leave you with an empty house as well as an empty heart.
They don’t want to run the risk of precious items being left behind, or held back by you (which is something they’d do), so they keep a step ahead with this cruel tactic.
#9 Faking Exhaustion
Too tired for this, too exhausted for that. They haven’t got the inclination to keep close to you. What’s the point in investing if they will be gone within the next few weeks?
They’re done! They’re done giving the tiny fraction they offer your relationship, and so they happily check out.
Faking exhaustion is a poor excuse, but it’s one used to retain distance from the two of you.
#10 Bedtime Equals Fight Time
What better time to start a fight than bedtime? The very moment you’re looking to rest and relax is the time they decide to drag up history between you.
They may try to blame you for something you had no idea you became a part of, but it’s intended to cause extra stress so that the inevitable break up causes no surprise at all.
This is a strong sign that you’re about to be dumped, so use this as a piece of advice!
#11 Recording You Melting Down
The one mlt down you have is going to be loaded into their phones ready to show people.
Honestly. They’re crazy. Have a look for yourself.
That’s all it takes for word to spread that you’re the dysregulated one. And trust me, the narcissist will never ever let it drop!
Keep an eye on the one you sleep next to.
