You’ve all heard of red flags, right?
In other words – if something was wrong, or you were in danger on a beach somewhere, a red flag would wave and you would know you need to get to safety.
It’s a warning.
And where narcissism is concerned, it’s a real warning to your nervous system.
We need green flags, not red, but just in case you need a little help in getting there…
…Here are 11 red flag phrases revealed and often used by narcissists.
I hope they help you step back from any toxic person.
Red Flag/Green Flag
Red is universal for stop, and green is also the same for go.
It’s the same with flags. And no, narcissists don’t walk around with red flags to help you spot them.
In fact, they are sometimes hidden by using charming qualities, or patterns of interest toward you.
It’s up to you to look for these phrases in everyday life, and start to spot the narcissist in the crowd.
You are green flag people, and you deserve a green flag life!
That being said…
…Let’s get into those 11 red flag phrases.
#1 You’re Too Sensitive!
Is sensitivity a bad thing? I fail to understand this, but it’s such a red flag phrase because it negates your traits of being kind, compassionate, caring and aware of the needs of others as bad traits.
There’s no such thing as too sensitive.
#2 It’s Always About You!
Is it? When you really break it down, is it always truly about you?
Or is this one time where it happens to be about you.
A job acceptance.
You won a competition.
You reached a goal.
You achieved something at work.
It’s time to celebrate the positive things in life when they happen. Sometimes it’s you, sometimes it’s somebody you care about.
Does it need to be a bad thing?
No!
The narcissist will make it to be that way because for once, nobody is focusing on them and putting them at the center of attention.
So childlike!
#3 I Don’t Remember It That Way
No?
Then tell me, how do you remember it?
I know you’re reading this resonating so strongly with it, and applying it to your own life and situation.
Narcissists will pull you away from what really happened, and only offer their own account as the truth.
It’s specifically designed to remodel a moment that doesn’t allow them to shine favorably, and give you a more confused memory of it.
Maybe you were wrong.
Maybe they were right after all.
Or maybe this whole thing is one big, red flag.
#4 I Am Doing This For Your Own Good
And you know my own good how exactly?
Never let anybody think they know what’s best for you, especially if they are trying to ruin a part of your character in the process.
This is a form of control that tries to be passed off as care or concern, and a lot of people get caught up being tricked this way.
I’d advise you to really think about what’s being said if this phrase ever comes your way.
What you’re looking at is a huge red flag, and if you are lucky, you will still have time to step away from the narcissist and avoid them from that moment on.
#5 There’s Nobody Else Who Would Tolerate You!
I want to yell, STOP IT!
I know this is far from the truth, and deep down, so did the victims once upon a time.
Now they are starting to believe the narcissistic hype behind this ridiculous statement, and that in itself is a dangerous red flag to look out for.
Why would anybody who claims to care about you say something like this to you?
#6 Oh, You Wouldn’t Understand
Really? Try me.
That’s right, you won’t. You already think I am dumb/stupid/unimportant enough to not speak to you in a proper manner.
You do understand. You’re just being led to believe that you don’t so they can chip away at you that little bit more.
Narcissists always underestimate their victims. It’s how they eventually start to make them feel worthless, and it’s with comments like this that the birth of worthlessness takes place.
#7 I’m The Best Thing Ever For You
If they’re the best thing, then who on earth set the bar for standards?
Oh, that’s right.
The narcissist did.
Red flag phrases like this are only meant to boost their ego, and they will pretend to love you so much that you’ll agree with them.
In reality, they’re the worst thing. What they’re doing is covering that truth with more lies to keep you under their control, and form that trauma bond even tighter, so that you never leave.
#8 You’re Nothing But Jealous
Two things are happening here.
One is that you’re being told you’re jealous – which is not really going to solve the problem occurring.
The second, is that you’re being told you’re ‘nothing but.’ In other words, there is nothing about you other than your (probably justified cause for) jealousy.
The narcissist here has either deliberately caused a situation so they can accuse you of this, or they’ve been caught out.
Whatever the way, the red flag comes from every single word of this phrase. When strung together, it makes it even worse.
#9 You’re Overreacting… Again!
Why can’t feelings of yours be valid for just a little while?
The chances are, if there’s something that’s got to you, it’s going to be something so unreasonable that it got you to that point.
For the narcissist to turn and tell you that you’re overreacting, they’re teaching you that your feelings don’t matter.
You and I both know that they do.
Don’t be with or around somebody who speaks like this.
#10 I’m Upset… And It’s Your Fault
This is laughable to me.
Narcissists don’t really like to admit they’re upset unless there’s somebody who can shoulder the blame of that upset.
That way, they can get away with voicing this vulnerability, and framing you as the culprit.
It seems so unfair, doesn’t it?
Unfortunately, it is, and it’s a huge red flag.
#11 I’m Sorry You Feel This Way
My God, I cannot stand this kind of phrase. The red flag is real when somebody says they’re sorry for how you feel, rather than being sorry for being responsible for how you feel.
Being hurt or let down is no joke, and if the narcissist knows they can do it, they will.
As soon as you emotionally react, they will step back and let you know that you’re out of line.
You!
I know!
