When you meet a narcissist, the last thing that will cross your mind is that they hate you.
But, they do. They’re just great at pretending they don’t.
There are reasons why the narcissist hates you, and they are largely for no reason at all. This means, (and yes, I need to frequently say it)…
It’s not your fault!
That being said, we have to unpick what the narcissist is thinking in their disdain for you, and why it matters to know why they hate you.
That’s a great place to start.
#1 You’re too happy
Oh boy, does your jot really rile the narcissist. I know you might be wondering, “But how can happiness be annoying? How can my good news ruin somebody else’s day?”
You’d be right in questioning it, but I am here to remind you that any narcissist walking this planet wants to be the center of attention .
They want the praise, the pride and the glory and if you get it instead, they will absolutely loathe you for it.
The way you enjoy all the small things will be poked at, undermined, and your light will be on constant dim all because they can’t stand to see you getting the good stuff, while they sit by and watch.
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#2 Your kindness is natural
For you, kindness isn’t something that you perform for the masses. It isn’t an act; it’s real.
You are kind, and it comes so naturally that you don’t even realize you’re being that way half the time.
It might be toward a stranger, or an animal, or you might like to help people you know can’t repay you at that point in time.
This is awfully unsettling authenticity to a narcissist. You are just being you, while the narcissist has to fight their ego to be kind, and even then, it never lasts and is always because they want something in return.
#3 You are compassionate
When a person cares deeply, they often feel deeply for others, too. They love to listen and help, support and understand what others may be going through.
This level of empathy is absolutely foreign to a narcissist, but they rely on people like you to use and abuse.
Still, they hate that you are this way, and mock it or call you far too sensitive for your own good.
In reality, you have an emotional depth they will never be strong enough to swim in, and they hate that.
#4 You are successful
Ouch, do your achievement sting to the narcissist. They don’t prevent the narcissist from living their own life and creating pockets of success for themselves, but the fact is, they don’t want anybody else to achieve.
Your success was pure and true. It was honest, and didn’t involve walking all over the good character of others.
It came from genuine effort and hard work, and a level of integrity that saw you soar to smashing your goal.
You didn’t fake it, and they hate that you have been able to complete a personal mountain to the point where you can fist pump the air and be happy about it.
#5 You have goals
Hey, having goals is how we all grow and learn in life. If you have goals that you’re setting, it means you are confident enough to believe those goals will be met.
You’ve big plans, and you want to make the most of your skillset by working toward them.
This is a huge threat to any narcissist, who wants just a fraction of your ability to self-reflect and follow through on your word. They avoid all of this at all costs, they just want what they want to fall into their egotistical and entitled laps.
Not you. You work and graft, and you get what you want. And that pains the narcissist.
#6 You acknowledge and celebrate all your emotions
There’s no pretence. If you’re sad, you don’t mind crying. If you are proud, you throw your hands up and celebrate.
You also don’t mind admitting when you’re scared, and all of this is emotional honesty. You’re okay with all of it, because all feelings matter.
Narcissist spend their lives hiding fro their own feelings, and worrying that they will reveal their vulnerable side to people who will then call them weak.
You’ll be hated just for being who you are.
#7 You happily discuss your fears and insecurities
If you have things going on in your mind, you’re quite happy to talk about them.
For the narcissist, they back away from anything that may make them look weak or ‘pathetic.’ You have worries, and that’s a normal part of life.
You don’t look for sympathy, but you look for growth, and that comes from observing what your fears are, what scares you, and what you might need to work on.
This is a superpower. Narcissists don’t possess it, because they’re too obsessed with wanting to look perfect to everybody else. It’s no wonder they hate you for it.
#8 You’re okay not being perfect
You’re okay with not needing or having a flawless image. You can laugh at yourself, and when you make mistakes, you learn from them.
You are at ease with imperfection, and that can really confuse a narcissist.
What do you mean, you’re ‘okay with not being able to do that properly?’
It’ means you have an identity that isn’t completely obsessed with looking superior to everybody you know, and that’s a good thing.
#9 You attract people without even trying
People open up to you, and trust you with their secrets and concerns. This isn’t because you demand people come to you, but rather that you are a person they can rely on. You’re safe, and you attract those who need support.
Narcissists tend to resent whatever they cannot control, and they are unable to control the magnet that is your good nature.
#10 You have a great sense of humor
When you laugh, the narcissist shudders. They know that your laugh is genuine, and that not only are you having fun, you are also being made to laugh, either by something you’re doing, watching or reading, or by a person other than them.
You also make others laugh, too, and they know they struggle to do the same. Instead of finding it endearing, they make you feel silly for it.
Underneath it all? They’re jealous.
#11 You have strong boundaries
Your boundaries are detested by any narcissist ,who feels it’s their god-given right to trample all over them.
You are calm in what you tolerate, and you are clear in the consequences of crossing those lines.
You aren’t guilty for feeling and thinking what you do, and that I think, is the ultimate threat to any narcissist.
With boundaries, there’s no room for manipulation. They know that, and that’s what troubles them so much, Hating you for being strong only proves how weak and determined to ruin your life they really are.
Don’t fall for the mask of charm, because what lies underneath is a far more sinister character, who hates everything good about you.
