Just for once, can they just do nothing?
Why do narcissists always have to be digging, or stirring, or gossiping, or blame shifting, or projecting?
Why can’t they just leave us alone?
Life would be much more peaceful, wouldn’t you agree?
But with narcissists ,they need to be causing some kind of trouble in order to make themselves feel better.
And I’ve got 11 reasons why narcissists do all those things to prove just how they do that.
What is Their Problem?
They hate themselves and they want you to feel as miserable as they do on the inside.
I hope that’s clear enough for you, because that’s what all narcissistic behavior really boils own to.
Nobody goes out looking for an abusive relationship.
Abusive relationships come to you.
They come to the good people who have a history with low self-esteem and high vulnerability. They seek out the most compassionate and kind, because those are the people most likely to forgive and forget.
Their problem is the need and desire to ruin lives and push and pull people around like they’re puppets in a play.
So these things they do?
They’re standard narcissistic ploys to initiate the abuse they have lined up for you.
#1 They Want To Get a Reaction
Narcissists live for your reaction, and they fight every day to see it rise out of you.
For this to occur, what needs to happen is a certain level of conflict, usually at the cost of your own wellbeing.
They will rile you up, goad you, and lure you into reacting to their bad behavior, all the while protesting their innocence.
What comes of it is one thing:
You are blamed for your reaction to their bad behavior, rather than the spotlight being on their bad behavior.
It doesn’t seem right or fair, does it?
But that’s how all narcissists operate.
And it’s up to you to make a stand and say this isn’t right.
#2 They Want Attention
Attention is one thing narcissists can’t live without.
Think of them like a toddler learning to regulate their emotions. If they call for their mama or papa, and nobody answers, they will scream. Maybe they will throw something or stomp their feet.
It’s not unusual for children to experiment with how they communicate in early development, but normal and healthy people grow out of it.
Narcissists act this way for their entire lives, although they disguise their attitudes well in front of the right people.
This is a level of control that confirms what they’re doing is abuse – as they manipulate their target audience.
If it’s attention they want, it’s attention they will get.
Look at me, and how important I am.
Look at my car, or latest vacation photos.
Look at the promotion I got at work.
Check out my new, expensive hobby.
It’s the same thing, time and time again. All it does is prove that they can’t just be themselves without the need to impress or stir up a pot of attention.
#3 To Divide
Division is like a win for the narcissist. What threatens them the most is observing some kind of alliance in their inner circle.
Somebody is getting on with someone else just a little bit too much for their liking, and all they see is an army.
They will figure me out!
I’ve got to put a stop to this!
And there you have it.
The division begins, and you end up being the bad guy in the whole story.
Narcissists thrive when others are falling apart. The whole, “This is terrible look what’s happening” will be the main focus on the situation, while the narcissist maintains utmost innocence.
#4 To Conquer!
That’s the whole point, right?
The narcissist wants to win at everything they do. If it means hurting people, then count them in. If it means using others to get what they want, they’re first in line.
These people are only happy when they have all the control, and trust me, that’s as often as humanly possible.
#5 They Hate Themselves
It’s not really surprising that narcissists can’t stand their own reflection when they look in the mirror.
It reminds them of all their failures and flaws, and how they can’t survive unless they are leeching the happiness out of the likes of you.
#6 They Can’t Stand Your Success
If you’re doing well in life, you’d better keep quiet about it. The alternative is letting the narcissist know all the amazing things you’re achieving, and watching their reaction be a huge problem to you.
Yes, there’s the choice of ignoring them when they play up, but do you really need them to play up?
Many people over time have learned to withhold information from the narcissist in their lives because they know it’ll go pear shaped.
From jealousy to outright rage – the narcissist was born to wreck.
And wreck they will!
#7 To Smear Your Name
Smear campaigns are a cruel and calculated way to bring down and burn an innocent name, all for revenge, punishment and to reassert their so-called power.
When somebody falls victim of a smear campaign, you can expect them to:
Be talked about by the narcissist.
Hear lies about them.
Have people they once loved and felt supported by, drop away like flies as they choose to believe the narcissist.
Be treated differently by mutual friends.
It’s horrible to be the person who the smear campaign is pointed at, and it can really run you into the ground.
I’ve seen it before with my own eyes the detrimental effects – but this is standard narcissistic behavior.
You do not have to comply.
The best revenge is a life well lived.
#8 To Frame Themselves as The Victim
If a narcissist can paint themselves as the victim, then they don’t have to worry about ever being to blame for anything.
That’s what they’re really wanting.
Their innocence will be your own downfall, as the finger points at you.
It’s the worst power play.
#9 It’s ‘Their Right’
Entitlement is the middle name of all narcissists. They just feel everything is their God-given right to own, including you.
They want to have it all, be treated with respect (even though that’s never returned), and be given special treatment all the time.
Life doesn’t work that way, but in the mind of a narcissist, it’s standard!
#10 To Control
I personally don’t ever live my life like I want to control anything other than what I do and how I act.
Why would anybody take that away from others?
Narcissists love to do it because it gives them more control. If you can’t think for yourself, they will think for you. The trouble is, you can think for yourself. They just program you to think you can’t.
#11 Manipulation
…And trust me – it can get really insidious.
Narcissists don’t want you to be the emotionally regulated person you were when they met you. And because you’re kind, you will constantly give them the benefit of the doubt.
Manipulating you can look like:
“You’re the only one I can rely on.”
“You made me do this!”
“You’re being totally irrational.”
“If you leave me, I will ruin your life.”
“If you leave me, I will harm myself.”
“So-and-so thinks I am incredible. Why can’t you be more like them?”
“You’re worthless.”
“Who else would want you?”
These phrases and so many more are all designed to manipulate you into feeling a certain way about yourself, or the people in your world.
And they are all red flags.
