10 Ways to Defeat The Narcissist

Read, aim, FIRE!

The narcissist is approaching.

Retreat! Retreat! 

Wait… Why are you retreating?

This is about defeat!

Narcissists will have you believe they are undefeatable. They will convince you that their power reigns supreme.

It does not. So let’s get down to the center of this – you can defeat them.

And I will give you the 10 best and most effective ways to do that.

So, lower your guilt, and raise your shields!

Narcissists: All Out War

Load up the cannons!

Dealing with a narcissist feels like being on a battlefield where the rules are constantly changing. 

There is a slingshot of manipulation.

There are swords of deceit.

Emotional abuse is their preferred weapon of choice.

They take aim: Aim to control and undermine you. 

This is all … out … war.

Understanding that you’re in this battle is the first crucial step to reclaiming your power and sanity.

Preparing For Battle?

You’ve got a narcissist in your life and you’re ready to fight back. 

But where do you start? 

Well, preparation is most definitely key.

First off, you need to understand the narcissist. Get everything you need together, and plan how you’re going to defeat the dragon (so-to-speak)!

Remember, this isn’t about stooping to their level. It’s more about outsmarting them with intelligence and resilience.

Things the narcissist doesn’t possess.

  • You’re smarter than they are.
  • You’re stronger than they will ever be.
  • You have more love for yourself than they know to be possible. You just need to find it.

When You Need An Army…

Battling a narcissist isn’t a solo mission; you just can’t do it alone. 

You need allies of support. You need to tune into their perspective, and use their strength to help keep you standing. 

Call on friends to help you. Call on family. Call on whoever you trust, and whoever you know to be loyal to you.

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What you don’t need is flying monkeys. They can stay well away. 

Now is not the time to isolate yourself – you’ve got this!

Relying On YOU

While having and building this army is crucial, I don’t want you to ever forget that your greatest ally is yourself. 

This means trusting in your abilities. Use your judgment. Be resilient. 

The narcissist aims to take all of those things away from you, including your confidence. This is why they met you in the first place, and have you in their life. 

They don’t want to be your friend or partner.

They just want to use you

10 Ways to Defeat the Narcissist

So here we are. Those 10 ways to defeat a narcissist will help you through any battle you are facing or about to face. 

Remember- you aim to win the war, and leave with grace and your head held high.

This isn’t about conflict but about standing up for what’s right.

For you

#1 You’ve Got To Get Those Boundaries in Place

Narcissists love to cross boundaries. It’s not a new craze or phase for any of them – but it is destructive. You have to start to establish clear limits with no negotiation if you want to defeat them. They will attempt to walk all over you, and you have to disallow this. 

Be firm – you will not tolerate certain behaviors or put up with how they constantly put you down.

With boundaries, consistency is key. Narcissists can’t stand boundaries because it limits their control, so make sure yours are rooted into the ground. 

#2 Document Everything, I Repeat… Everything

Narcissists will catch you out if they’re given half the chance. 

I was there, I should know!

I know I’m right!


Well, actually if you’re going to defeat a narcissist, you should begin with the confirmation that in actual fact, you are right.

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How can you do that?

By documenting everything.

Keep texts. Keep emails. Write down conversations. We live in a world now where many of us have security cameras in our house. If you do, have those conversations with the narcissist in earshot of one. It will naturally record you, rather than try to record the narcissist in secret. 

Use  this technique to prove the narcissist wrong

#3 Keep Calm… Carry On

Narcissists feed off all emotional reactions (yours the most!)

They want you to explode in anger or break down in tears, and they want to savor the satisfaction behind being the cause.  

By staying nicely calm and composed, you automatically deny them the satisfaction of seeing you fall to pieces. 

Practice mindfulness. Live in the moment. Capture yourself looking to what is around you (other than the narcissist).

Deep breathing and other techniques to maintain your cool, even in the heat of battle, will pay off when you are in the midst of those intense feelings.

#4 Gray Rock Them

It’s time to become as uninteresting as a gray rock—it’s that simple. You become invisible, blended in with everything else around you, and don’t stand out in any way, shape, or form. 

Gray rock is a way of responding to the narcissist in a dull, monotonous manner, providing minimal information. You avoid engaging in their drama. 

What happens then? Well – you are far less appealing to them. You refuse to be manipulated!

#5 Focus HEAVILY On You

Narcissists drain your energy, as well as your wellbeing. 

You can save yourself by loving yourself. All the things the narcissist tells you, you have to delete and continue.

Their words act to weigh you down, but this is not how you defeat a narcissist. 

Winning is on your schedule now – so start prioritizing how to take good care of yourself and all the things you love. Hobbies, activities, seeing friends, dressing how you want to dress – all of it. 

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#6 Get Professional Help

Never underestimate the power of professional help. It really is a lifeline for those who have suffered narcissistic abuse – and there are untold therapists who will be familiar with what you’ve been through. 

Learn strategies and coping mechanisms that help rather than hinder you. This is a great starting point for any eventual defeat!

#7 Clue Yourself Up

Knowledge is power. We all know that the more you learn. The more you can implement into your day to day.

Learn about Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Reach into the tactics narcissists use.

Understand their behavior patterns, as these will allow you to anticipate their next move and respond with empowerment.

This is about being one step ahead – always.

#8 Consider Contact Limits

If it is possible, minimize all interactions with the narcissist. 

It will truly change your life for the better. 

This is especially important if the relationship is causing you truly significant harm. Limiting contact means they’re unlikely to manipulate and control you as much as they have been:

Good news for you!

In some cases, and I never like to sell this due to not knowing your circumstances – but – going no contact may be the best option for your mental health.

Only you know your situation.

#9 Stand Your Ground!

Standing your ground proves you are strong and determined to no longer be undermined.

Defeating any narcissist involves you living in your reality, and staying there.

#10 Know When to Admit Defeat

If you are in a ‘romantic’ (and I use the term loosely) relationship with a narcissist – know when to say enough is enough and walk away. 

You have to prioritize your health and self. If it’s costing you, it’s already too expensive.

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