Narcissists are absolute masters of ruining anything good that comes into their life.

Wouldn’t you think they would want to keep people looking at them positively?

What an easy life it would be if we could all just get along, and see the good in each other…

…Not the narcissist!

Instead, these insidious wastes of space will go to great lengths to sabotage relationships.

There’s an interesting reason why they do that, followed by 10 ways they will work their black magic.

Why Sabotage?

Doesn’t sound very romantic, does it?

Nothing says I love you more than somebody throwing a bomb at your relationship while maniacally laughing. 

Narcissists will do this, pretending they’re throwing rose petals, of course. Your job was never to question them, but with people like me around, your job role has now changed.

From now on, I am recruiting you as:

CEO of Narcissistic Knowledge.

Sabotage is all the narcissist knows. They know they can’t hold onto a successful relationship forever, and so they have it pumping through their blood to ruin what they find.

It’s never always obvious, but it’s always painful when you’re the person who has to deal with that sabotage. 

Did you pick the wrong person? Yes.

Were you aware you were picking the wrong person at the time? No.

So, about those ten ways…

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#1 Being Unfaithful

When I say unfaithful, I am not just talking about physical unfaithfulness.

Yes, that’s a very evident way to ruin a relationship, but narcissists aren’t always that overt. 

Disloyalty like this can come from:

• Flirting online with strangers.
• Messaging exes.
• Joining dating sites to scan the market.
• Going out for drinks or coffee dates with coworkers. 
• Keeping potential unfaithful interests from you, and withholding their existence. 

It can also, of course, involve kissing, intimacy, and other intimate acts of betrayal, all of which hurt. 

#2 Always Putting You Down

It still baffles me as to why a person chooses to be with another, while always finding ways to put them down and make them feel bad about themselves.

It’s got to take a very toxic person to be able to do something like that, hasn’t it?

Well, enter stage left, narcissist!

Putting you down can appear to be:

• Saying unkind remarks about your appearance.
• Telling you that you’re no good at something.
• Laughing at you for trying a new hobby.
• Reminding you of times in the past you’ve failed. 

Again – this is an act not truly representing what it means to be in a loving, caring relationship.

It points at all the ways you can ruin a perfectly good union, and narcissists are some of the best people mentally equipped to do this. 

#3 Rage Attacks

Nobody needs rage in their life, but when it is so frequent, you have to question a person’s likelihood of being a narcissist. 

To be on the receiving end of rage is to know you are being intimidated, and that in itself is a threat. 

Is it a way to live? No. Yet so many people are programmed to make excuses for the narcissist when, in fact, this behavior is not right at all.

#4 Reminding You That They’re In Charge

Superiority is the middle name of a narcissist, and they will use that as much as they can. 

Narcissists will remind you that they’re in charge whenever you try to assert yourself, make a decision, or give an opinion.

You’ll be metaphorically shot down and put firmly in your place.
If it feels like bullying, it is.

#5 “Who Cares What You Want?”

Not the narcissist, that’s for sure. 

Time and time again I see victims of a narcissistically abusive relationship and they all say the same thing:

They just didn’t care what I wanted. They didn’t care if they hurt me, or withheld the minimum standard of affection.

It’s all about them. It doesn’t matter if you think you’re in the most exciting, passionate relationship known to man.

If you’re not being treated well and your needs are being pushed aside – it’s not healthy. 

Narcissists aren’t even aware that they’re sabotaging. They just want what they want from you. If that’s at the cost of everything you’re hoping for, then so be it!

#6 Isolating You

You’ll know you’re in a relationship with a narcissist when your support system starts to dwindle after a period of time.

Maybe not at first, remember, the narcissist wants to impress you and all your friends. 

Soon after, the comments will come.

You’re better than them. 

You don’t need them.

I’m here if you need support.

You can always talk to me, I am a better listener. 

Anything to pull you away from the people you’ve previously relied on. In the long run, this is going to completely sabotage your relationship as you realize you’ve got nobody. To make it worse – they aren’t going to be the support they promised they’d be. 

#7 Controlling To The Max

Control is at the heart of everything the narcissist does. Narcissists treat their victims as if they are under lock and key, and once you get to that point, it’s going to be challenging to get out (but not impossible!)

First, you have to see the problem, and that’s hard when the narcissist works hard to cover up their abuse with smokescreens and mirrors. 

One person like this should control no relationship. It’s a devastating way to ruin it.

#8 Zero Empathy

Empathy should be at the center of every intimate relationship. You want to be with and understand the person you’re with, and you’d hope for the same in return. 

It’s how communication, trust, respect, support, compassion and love grows, right? It’s likely that you know that, and you offer that, too. 

But the narcissist?

Forget it. They know nothing about empathy. Instead, all they want is to pretend to care when it suits, and the rest of the time they will suck all the empathy out of you. 

I don’t want you to think that your empathic traits are a bad thing – they’re not. You just met the wrong person to offer them to.

#9 Kindness? Watch Out!

Narcissists love to take advantage of your good nature, and they won’t stop. You give an inch, they won’t just take a mile, they will take ten!

It’s in most of us to be kind, and surely the fact that you’re in a relationship with somebody means kindness should come pretty easily, right?

Right?

Wrong – for narcissists, anyway. 

They hate your kindness, but at the same time, they can’t live without it. This is a classic example of never being able to do anything right. 

If you have experience with a narcissist in a past relationship, you know they will walk all over you to get what they want. All the while you comply, they’re happy. 

But that’s all at your expense, isn’t it?

#10 They Leave You Exhausted

Drained is probably the better word to use. Drained of all life and energy that was once vibrant and positive.

Now you’re stuck constantly feeling like you are on 3 percent battery, and you can’t find your charger. 

You’re going to feel it however you want to frame it, and there’s no getting away from that. 

The exhaustion comes from the battles you have with the narcissist.

The ways you try to defend yourself, the times you listen to them complain about something you did or didn’t do, or all the attempts you make to bring the two of you closer together emotionally. 

Or what about needing to please them, just so they’re in a good mood? Or giving up the things you love because they make fun of them. 

It all adds up, and it all drains the life out of anybody who has to tolerate this insidious abuse. 

11 Ways Narcs Fool You Into Thinking They Are Not a Narcissist

Narcissists are pure masters of disguise who will fool you into thinking they’re caring and confident souls who care deeply.

Beneath that outer charm lies a level of selfishness you won’t comprehend.

 How do they pull it off? 

Well, narcissists use very clever tactics to hide their true nature, making you believe they’re not who they really are. 

So, by the time you realize the truth, it will be too late. 

Allow me to uncover everything…

The Fool’s Game

The game of fools was invented by one.

Being fooled by a narcissist is nothing to be ashamed of, yet so many people feel that when they realize what’s going on. 

If you can see a good side to somebody toxic, they will ensure you never see their bad side. 

11 Ways Narcissists Fool You Into Thinking They Aren’t a Narcissist

#1 Charming First Impressions

You know the narcissist to be everything that destroys mental well-being. Each time you hear the word ‘toxic,’ you think about all the punishing ways people under the spell of narcissism are treated. 

The insults.

The mocking.

The anger.

The silent treatment.

The control.

The lack of accountability.

The invisible apologies.

So it’s no wonder the charming illusion can knock a person right into next week.

You aren’t a fool for falling for the charm, but you’d be a fool to stay once you uncover the truth. 

#2 Selective Generosity 

One minute, they love to shower you with gifts and treat you like royalty. The next, they pull everything away from you and act as though you’re nothing but a pain to them. 

It’s like offering you a safe space to sit in, and then unleashing a dozen tigers into that space.

You think you’re okay until they prove you’re not – and it’s all caused by them.

Eventually, feeling safe will become less and less frequent, and feeling unsafe will be where you are most likely to remain. 

Those moments you do feel safe will be when they try to show you how genuine and authentic they are…

…Don’t buy it!

#3 Playing the Victim

Narcissists are known for being the kind of person where nothing wins against them.

Believe me when I say that they’re so capable of playing the victim, it’s unreal.

They will stop an entire village of people working if it means they get the kind of attention they;re searching for. 

So there you are, trying to see them as evil and awful, but they’re so good at proving otherwise in a single moment.

Their eyes are full of sadness, and their tails drop – they’re like a dog without a treat.

But they’re still a narcissist!

#4 The Magic Mirror!

You’ll be swept away into a sea of blissful unawareness, and all the while, you feel like you ‘have so much in common with them!’ This is called mirroring.

Oh wow, you like that band? I’ve seen them five times in concert!

I thought I was the only person who loved peanut butter and banana on toast!

I love that you love those values. For me, it’s exactly the same. We are so alike. 

The narcissist will do what they can to make it seem like you’re two peas in a pod. It’s how you fall in love…

…And into their trap!

#5 Blaming Others

Hey. I’m the innocent guy here!

It’s not me. It’s everybody else.

I’m just trying my best to do what I can.

If you were to adhere to these statements, you’re likely to give the narcissist the benefit of the doubt, maybe even feeling sorry for them!

And you can’t feel sorry for somebody so toxic, which means they can’t be a narcissist, right?

Right?

WRONG!

#6 The Emotional Rollercoaster That Is

Now, I need you to read this clearly:

If a narcissist was bad all the time, there would be no appeal.

Did you get that?

Emotional rollercoasters are how you stay seated in an environment that you should be leaving.

With every three negative things that happen, you’ll get one, which is a great thing. That’s how the narcissist plays you and how they keep you. 

Narcissists will convince you that toxic people are always toxic – and prove they aren’t by a false kind of positive for you. 

Don’t buy it.

#7 Strategic Compliments: Lower Your Guard

Every now and then, if you receive warm, kind and loving words from the narcissist, they will be able to cover their tracks and keep you fooled.

Oh, you look beautiful. I am so lucky to have you in my life.

I love you so much, you mean everything to me.

How can they be a narcissist, when they’re so full of love and affection?

Easily…

It’s fake.

Do not lower your guard.

#8 Questioning Yourself

Hey, I think you’re acting a little crazy. 

Do you think it’s worth asking yourself if you really feel that way? It seems so unlike you.

If a narcissist wants you to self-reflect, it’s because they’re trying to convince you to see yourself one way only. 

The way they want you to see yourself (which is always negative).

#9 “You Don’t Need Anybody!” – Creating Dependency

Fooling you into believing you don’t need anybody other than them is a dangerous game. Many narcissists are successful in this, isolating their victims until they can fully take charge of their thoughts and feelings. 

Do this!

Don’t do this!

Don’t speak to that person. You’re too good for them.

I don’t like you speaking to the neighbors. They’re nosey.

I don’t like how your mom treats you like a baby. It’s time to cut her off.

I could go on and on.

It serves to do one thing:

Cut you off and cause you to be dependent on just the narcissist.

This is fooling you in a way that makes you think they have your best interests at heart…

…They really don’t!

#10 Fear Via Control

A narcissist will ask you what you’re scared of, and present you with that very thing just so they can protect you from it.

Read that again.

The narcissist wants to save the day. They want to be the ones you run and cling to.

Little do you know that they caused the problem or the fear in the first place. 

When you experience the very fear they create – ask yourself if you are being saved or if you’re being fooled.

#11 The Perfect Image

The perfect image does exist for those who refuse to dig under the surface. 

Narcissists have a surface that is coated with perfection. They love to be the ones everybody gravitates toward, and you’re left thinking, “This person has it all. They’re so liked and amazing!”

Of course, they aren’t.

But that’s all part of their plan to fool you even more!