We all know how toxic narcissists behave. By now, you are becoming experts in how their behavior affects everybody around them, namely you.
Narcissists are brilliant at carrying out dark acts that ruin lives, all the while pointing the finger to you, and telling the world what a villain you are.
The injustice is strong, and it runs deep. You try to protest your innocence, but you know it never really gets you anywhere.
It’s time we uncovered the 10 ways narcissists make you the villain for their bad behavior, don’t you think?
#1 “You caused this”
First off, this is a classic narcissistic tactic. Before you go and start thinking everything really is your fault, I want you to think about why the narcissist successfully uses this as a weapon against you.
It’s not because it doesn’t work, but rather that it works so well, it leaves you guilty, empty and remorseful.
You become the bad guy, but you accept it because their reasoning is so convincing.
You say how sorry you are, and promise to do better next time. In reality, you’re trying to live up to a standard the narcissist has set for you that is impossible to meet.
They know it, and it’s about time you did, too.
#2 “If you weren’t so needy…”
Narcissists won’t hesitate to tell you that you are too needy, and paint it as a burden to them.
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Number one, you aren’t too needy at all. You are just a person who wants the truth, and who wants a loving relationship. It terrifies the narcissist, and so they tell you that you’re the problem in all of this.
If you’d just back off, maybe we would get along better.
Why do you always have to need something from me?
The narcissist doesn’t like healthy, so they push it away and make you feel as though what you are asking for isn’t normal, when in fact, it is.
#3 “I have to earn money, because you don’t”
When a narcissist manipulates you into leaving your job and staying home, it’s because they want to cut you off from earning your own money and being independent. The isolation that follows will suit them down to the ground, but not you.
Soon enough, you staying home as they’ve told you to do becomes the latest problem.
You want to spend time with them, but they use your ‘laziness’ as the reason why they have to go and work.
Without me, we have nothing coming in.
Somebody has to be responsible, and it obviously isn’t you.
Why does that make you the bad guy? Any excuse for them to blame outwardly.
#4 Selective memory
The convenient forgetting of details is what the narcissist works hard to perfect.
I don’t know what you’re talking about.
I don’t remember any of that.
I would remember that if it were true.
You feel so frustrated, because without their admittance, you look terrible.
Well, like I said, convenient, right?
#5 Changing the narrative completely
No narcissist can survive without heavily changing the narrative to pretty much any situation they can manipulate.
If something isn;t going their way, or they want others to remember it differently, they will twist and turn details in order to make them look like the helpful, popular, kind and caring ones.
So, somebody has to take the heat, don’t they? Look no further than yourself – the villain – who has been left picking up the pieces of the latest drama that’s unfolded.
#6 Giving you the power … only when it suits them
This happened because of you!
This is all your fault!
The strange part about this that nobody talks about is the fact that the narcissist works so hard to take power away from you, then when it suits them, they throw you lines like this, handing you the power to be at fault so strongly.
It’s ironic, isn’t it? That a person who intends on making you feel so weak can suddenly give you the responsibility of being the reason everything went wrong.
It’s only when it suits them though. You don’t have any power any other time, and they make sure of it.
#7 “You can’t do anything on your own!”
Is the narcissist late? Did you interrupt them doing absolutely nothing and ask for their help? Did you knock something over trying to carry out a task?
The narcissist won’t see the good in what you were trying to do. Instead, they will blame you for being a pain in the ass, and pull you away from trying to use your initiative or independence again.
Not great, not cool, but always predictable.
Why should you be the villain just because you are being proactive?
#8 “I cheated because you don’t give me what I need”
Oh, wow. What a low blow for any victim who tries their best to have a proper relationship with a narcissist.
They will use you as an excuse for cheating, and yes, that is the ultimate insult for all loyal, honest people out there.
No cheating is your fault, unless you are the person cheating. Narcissists will refuse to take the blame for even the worst moves they make.
Why? Because nothing is ever their fault. They are perfect, and if you have a problem with what they do, then that’s just you being pathetic and insecure.
Cheating is never okay.
#9 “Why did you behave that way? You cost me!”
This usually happens after something like a work party or big, important dinner. You were asked to go along, smile and be the glistening gem on the narcissist’s arm.
You went and had a great time, but you drew attention to yourself by being your naturally kind and funny self.
You spoke to the boss, or the person in charge of promotions, and you got into deep conversations about life.
You danced too much. You revealed too much about your life together. Whatever the excuse they can yell at you for, they will use it; usually that means inventing it.
You ruined everything!
Well, no you didn’t. That was probably down to the narcissist being their usual, egotistical self.
#10 “This thing doesn’t work! What did you do to it?!”
Around the home, objects can break or stop working, and the first thing the narcissist will do when trying to use it is look in your direction.
What did you do to this?
Why isn’t it working?
It worked for me yesterday!
Okay, great. And now it doesn’t. They probably broke it, but of course, there you are, and now they can blame you for it not working because that’s easier than admitting they had a hand in it.
This is not only childish behavior, but typical of a narcissist who doesn’t see the fault in anything they say or do, or use.
You become the person who they can blame, for the smallest of things.
After time, you start to see that you really are this terrible person who can’t do anything right.
We know this isn’t true, and this is your reminder today.
