We all know that narcissists are fundamentally evil people, regardless of how good they act in front of other people.
There is this desperate need to reflect goodness out into the world, with the intention of never being accused, questioned, or exposed by those they abuse.
This can make it so difficult for victims to seek the justice they deserve, but one thing is for certain; we know it’s all a lie.
Today is about shining a light on the 10 ways narcissists convince themselves they’re good people. It’s safe to say that these are all deflections from their true, toxic characters.
1 They donate time or money to causes
Wanting to convince themselves that they’re a good person, narcissists will also band this with trying to convince everybody else, too.
That usually starts with the promise that they care, and to care is to donate time or money to important local causes as proof.
Look at me, I am a good person, honestly. I am honored to give, after all, that’s what life is all about.
Yeah, yeah. We’ve seen and heard this record before. It’s old hat, and it’s nothing but a smoke screen for narcissists to hide behind as they ultimately trick people into believing they’re a good person.
2 They publicise convenient memes and quotes online
Social media isn’t just about posting their own lives. Narcissists use the platform to post quotes and memes that they think will align with what a good person they are.
Quotes about caring about animals or kids, or donating money to war zones, or about being a good friend or partner.
Memes that make them seem funny or caring. Nothing is off limits when it comes to content, and narcissists will search high and low to use the right ones that help them carve out an online persona worthy of worshipping.
How convenient, you post that family is everything and you’d move heaven and earth for yours. That makes you sound so reliable and trustworthy. You’re such a good person, and your family is so lucky to have you.
Pass me the vomit bucket… you’re fooling nobody but yourself.
3 Social media paints them as family orientated
Then there’s the other use of social media. This is where photos and check-ins come in really handy for narcissists.
They want to try to convince themselves that they’re a good person by swinging by the supermarket and picking up the groceries so you don’t have to. But they have to publicize it, they can’t just do it like a normal person.
They tag themselves at their kid’s football game, making it seem as though they show up every single week, but in reality, this is the one time in two years they’ve actually been present for it.
By posting this kind of content, they are creating a log of all the times they’ve done something that doesn’t involve putting themselves first, and it can truly read as a list of reasons why they’re such a good person.
We know the truth.
4 They perform wherever there’s a chance
Whenever a narcissist gets the chance to perform in front of an audience, they will do so very willingly.
These people love to pretend their lives are full of good things, making them good, too.
The thinking behind it is basically, “If I were bad, I’d hide myself away from people.” That then creates the image that because they want to chat with everybody and be front and center of any opportunity ,that they must be good.
Performance is perfected over the years, and narcissists assume that because people are interested in them, and being receptive of their performance, that this must mean they have a good heart.
5 They have good jobs
I cannot stress enough that a good job does not mean a good person.
Some of the world’s most narcissistic people are in full time, highly paid, very public jobs (I will let you fill in those gaps), but all it shows is an obsession with power, money and image as opposed to actually being a decent person.
Being trusted in a role also doesn’t mean that role is being taken care of, too, just for full clarity.
6 They really believe their lies
A narcissist can convince themselves of anything if they spend long enough believing it.
This is the kind of manifestation we all need a little more of in our lives, but narcissists take it to a whole new level.
Their thoughts and beliefs are based on what they want to be true, rather than what really is, and I think that’s made pretty obvious if we look at the genuine character of a narcissist.
There’s no way they’re good people. Believing their lies is exactly what adds weight to their grandiose personalities.
7 They use being honest as an excuse to be cruel
I’m only saying it because I care about you. I just want to be honest to help you.
There’s no help here. There are only cruel words disguised as being kind for the sake of honesty.
No good person would say something so hurtful, only to have to explain themselves afterward. It’s typical of a narcissist to cross moral boundaries like this, and then say it’s because they like to be honest to those they know.
Don’t mistake it.
8 They shift narratives to make themselves look the victim
I didn’t mean it like that. I am trying my best to make it make sense. I wasn’t being unkind, I just wanted to help. I wasn’t feeling great, and I still don’t. But I do care.
It’s age-old, isn’t it? I really feel like narcissists play the same broken record as they always have, to try to make themselves look like good people.
Shifting narratives usually involves some poor, innocent person getting the blame, and the narcissist being let off the hook (again). It’s not fair, but it’s typical behavior.
9 They compare themselves to people who aren’t doing as well
What a cheap, low way to try to make yourself look like a good person. The narcissist knows somebody who isn;t doing so well, or has been down on their luck, so they love to talk about them.
Well, you know, they aren’t earning much now. They struggle with alcohol, you know. I learned quickly how to take care of myself, I wish they’d do the same.
Yeah, yeah. Because you’re so perfect, right?
Talking about this doesn’t really make the people doing the talking look remotely good, anyway. It just makes them sound as though they don’t have an ounce of thought or empathy in their entire bodies.
10 “I did so much for them”
Narcissists love to remind people that they’ve done so much for other people. It’s as if they’re trying to say, “If I were a bad person, would I have gone to all that trouble?”
Well, in a word, yes. You see, narcissists are never concerned about the effort or work they have to put into something, they only care about what others will think of them because they’re doing it in the first place.
Everything revolves around image and reputation, so that’s all that will be on the narcissist’s mind.
