Experiencing ongoing stress isn’t good for anybody, and for people who have survived narcissistic abuse, you will have been pushed to your limits both physically and emotionally.
The stress you’ve been put through has the potential to have gone on for years, but once your time with them is up and you are no longer a victim, but a survivor, there are 10 ways you can release that stress.
Having the time and space to do it will help you heal, and give you the chance to relight the spark inside you that the narcissist dimmed.
1 Exercise
Exercise is a known and proven stress reliever. With all those good-for-you hormones being released the moment you step on a treadmill, go on that walk, take that cold water swim, or even just play in the park with your kids, you’re bound to feel your anger lessen.
It’s so good to release stress this way, and let all the drama fall away from your mind and body, even just for a little while.
I liken it to lifting the lid off a boiling pot every now and then to let them steam out. Otherwise all that boiling water spills over, and it’s messy to clean up.
If you’re going to rip the stress away, exercise is a great place to go, and the beauty is, there’s always one form of exercise that suits everybody. Pick which one works for you.
2 Getting a pet
Pets are known to be therapeutic. Whether it’s walking your dog, curling up with your cat on your lap, or even having fish in a tank to watch and get lost in their free floating; all pets do something to lessen our stress we carry.
Many victims of narcissistic abuse find it a comfort to have a pet, and survivors, once you’ve moved away from the narcissist, find solace in the day-to-day care of something that they know will unconditionally love you back.
You come home, and there is always a cute friend ready to greet you and give you a new purpose.
And you know, a lot of pets can sense what you’re feeling, so that makes it even more of a relief for those who have been to hell and back.
3 Catching up on sleep
When you’re stuck living the day-to-day life with a narcissist, one thing you’ll notice that you’ll suffer from is a lack of quality sleep.
The nervous system is supposed to remain calm as often as possible, but when you’ve tolerated inconsistent moods, dysregulated temper tantrums, blaming, guilt, gaslighting, silent treatment, drama and God knows what else, it won’t be calm at all.
So what do survivors do? They relearn sleep. They teach themselves that laying down to go to sleep is safe for them, and that they can do that without being at risk of abuse in the middle of the night, or being kept awake purposely by somebody who is intent on leaving them be nothing but a wreck of the person they used to be.
And so, survivors sleep. They relax. They breathe. They stop curling up like tense newborn babies, and learn once again how to drop their shoulders and stop grinding their teeth.
Sleep is so important, and on this occasion, it’s overdue. And getting enough of it makes a heck of a difference when it comes to stress levels.
4 Designing a secure, safe and quiet environment
After all you’ve endured with the narcissist, isn’t it about time you took control? Your environment wouldn’t have been safe for a long time, and you’ll have been exposed to inconsistent moods, making your home feel unsafe.
It’s one place you should feel safe, so it’s completely understandable that this can be the cause of stress build-up. Surviving narcissistic abuse means you can start to build the kind of environment your nervous system would be proud to live in.
You don’t want to tiptoe into your kitchen and wonder if it’s safe. You want to be able to have your things around you, not going missing or being disrespected. You want to be able to just sleep at night.
All of this is possible, and I assure you, to release your stress, a great thing to do is build what you deem to be an environment where you can breathe.
5 Getting therapy
Therapy – it’s out there in many forms, and therapists are growing more and more knowledgeable of narcissists and narcissistic abuse. The effects aren’t just a little, they can really become complex and problematic if left untreated.
That’s why more survivors are turning to therapy, using it as a main tool to help overcome what they’ve had to tolerate.
6 Getting clued up online
Well, you’re here, aren’t you? Coming online and finding articles like this will all build you up and validate you. You can go from feeling totally alone to, “Oh my God, this makes so much sense,” in the space of a minute or two.
I always encourage you to check back in with me and see what you can find that will help de-stress you from your experiences with the narcissist.
After all, every little bit helps you grow and learn.
7 Overriding the negative thought patterns
It can be so difficult to override all the negative thoughts patterns the narcissist has introduced you to over time.
When your inner critic becomes their voice, you won’t be able to get much done, and that will come as no real surprise, seeing as that’s what they want.
It can really help alleviate stress to just practice what it is to form new patterns, and yes, this can take a little time.
It’s always worth it in the end though, if you want to start viewing life more positively. As a survivor, even learning to wake up and not sabotage your daily plans is a great step forward.
8 Seeking old and lost connections
Relationships will fall through the cracks wherever narcissists are concerned.
They tend to make it their toxic mission to ruin your good friendships, and they can do this by triangulating, as well as trying to convince you that you’re better off without them in your life for whatever reason.
When you start reconnecting, the stress of being at odds, or distant with them will fade over time. You’ll realize that the only person responsible for the stress of that fallout was the narcissist, and not you.
9 Digging up hobbies the narcissist buried
When you’ve been told your hobbies are ridiculous, dumb, or that they don’t matter, you won’t have the emotional space to still have the interest in following them.
What happens when you’ve got no hobby to wind down and relax doing? Stress builds! It builds big time, but as a survivor it’s on you to rediscover those marvellous things you loved, and keep at them.
The only person who made you feel like your hobbies weren’t worth following, was the narcissist. Now they’re out of the picture, you can begin to allow them gently back into your life, and feel lighter in spirit for doing so.
