People escape narcissism every single day all over the world, and I hope that fact can be the comfort you need to one day escape the narcissist in your own life.
Once they escape, they will give out signs that they managed to break free.
They give off energy, vibes and even a definite newfound thirst for life at times!
Here, I have 10 ways you can tell someone has escaped a narcissist, because I really like to give you something to one day look forward to experiencing yourself.
#1 They look totally drained
I know it’s probably not the one you want to initially read, but I feel as though I want to get this one out of the way so we can talk more about the positives in a little bit.
Looking totally drained is normal for anybody who has escaped a narcissist.
Think about everything they would have been through, and now they’re left reeling from it, like their very souls are dangling by a thin thread.
Those who have escaped a narcissist need support and reassurance.
They need to know that what they did was the right thing for them, and that the energy they lack now, will return.
#2 It takes them time to stop apologizing
Old habits die hard, right? The art of over-apologizing really isn’t an art at all, it’s an unhealthy response to living with somebody who feels entitled to those constant apologies.
And it takes them a lot of time to realize that they don’t need to keep saying they’re sorry.
Sadly, it comes from spending all that time with a narcissist, who not only seeks constant apologies, but gets mad if their victims don’t express it.
It’s difficult for victims to let go of this, but it’s still possible with self-awareness and time.
#3 They don’t want to get into another relationship… ever
And who can blame them! If you’ve spent years being manipulated and controlled by a narcissist who has eroded your identity and left you feel empty and depressed, it’s no wonder you won’t want to risk it happening all over again.
Victims often retreat from the dating pool, understandably to protect themselves and allow time to recover.
It’s just a shame when they believe all potential lovers are narcissists, because we know there are so many good people out there.
#4 They’re starting to build a fresh image
And so it begins! You notice there’s a tiny little spark returning to that person who has escaped a narcissist.
They’re smiling again, and making jokes. You see their shoulders uncurl as they stand that little bit taller, and they have started to wear the clothes they want to wear, and not what they were told to wear.
This fresh image may not be new, it may contain parts of their old self gleefully returning, but nevertheless, there is change, and it is positive.
#5 You notice them doing more and more
You never used to see them, but now this person is out more.
Not necessarily to party all the time, but maybe to go on that hike, or join that fitness class, or attend the book club in town they always wanted to attend.
As they do more and more, they discover more and more about themselves that’s been missing since their time with the narcissist.
This is a great sign that somebody has escaped, and is beginning to live life once more.
#6 They look over their shoulder
You know, I always say even those who have escaped a narcissist will still look over their shoulder every now and then.
Not often, but just enough for you to know that they’re being careful, and wondering if life is really happy again.
Sometimes victims think it’s too good to be true that their narcissist is in the past, so that little glance over the shoulder really only happens to help reassure the victim that they really have been freed from further abuse.
#7 Knowledge builds
If they didn’t know much about narcissism before, I can guarantee they will have gone on the knowledge journey of a lifetime since escaping the narcissist.
Professionals like me are keen to spread the word to as many people as we can, and you can get lost down rabbit holes of information relating to narcissistic abuse and recovery.
Knowledge builds a new persona, and that persona is going to be far more likely to never get caught up with a narcissist ever again.
Not only that, but knowledge can also encourage a person to look at what happened in detail, and how it all went wrong.
Sometimes that looks like the innocent mistakes made under the guise of love at the time.
With the right knowledge, the right people will remain safe.
#8 They develop a ‘don’t mess with me’ attitude
I love this one! I just love seeing people go from being fearful, to being feared.
I don’t mean they become bullies themselves, but this is more about the kind of attitude that exudes:
You don’t get to mess with me every again, and neither does anybody else!
With this newfound gumption, those who once had to deal with abuse are now not only repelling it, but ensuring they don’t get caught in abusive patterns ever again.
They are finally learning their worth, and they’re not allowing anybody or anything to damage that.
#9 It still gets to them every now and then
I think it’s so natural for people who have escaped narcissistic abuse to still get those days where their past comes knocking.
It’s not a step backward in any way, but it can feel that way for survivors.
I like to think of it more as a time for self-reflection, which is a good thing. It’s almost as if you are re-reminding yourself that yeah, that happened, and it was terrible.
You think back to the person you were, and it does make you sad because so much spark and charisma was stolen from you.
Luckily, days like this will get further and further apart, but when they do arise, know that it’s okay to reflect a little.
#10 Certain days may still trigger them
Whether it’s a birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas, or any day of personal significance, it can be challenging for somebody who has escaped narcissistic abuse to see the positives.
This is due to the fact that narcissists hate days such as the aforementioned.
In turn, they make them so miserable for their victims that they, too, learn to hate them.
It’s no real surprise then, that when these days roll around, they can be a trigger for those who escaped the abuse.
It takes time, and that’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with you if you dread your birthday, but just know that the only reason you do is because you’ve learned not to celebrate yourself.
It’s likely that your special day was ruined in numerous years, too, but it doesn’t have to be that way forever.
Your future is in your hands, and I think that’s the perfect place to end this topic.
Live your life!
