Men aren’t the only ones we need to point the finger of blame on when it comes to narcissism.
Women are just as capable, if not worse, of being toxic and dangerous to their male partners.
As it goes, this is the day we flip to the script a little and focus on the toxic power of female narcissists and the damage they can cause.
These 10 ways may, in part, sound familiar, but when you put that female twist on them, they get pretty dark…
…Pretty quickly.
Can The Tables Be Flipped?!
I will tell you now that any table can be flipped when it comes to abuse.
If a man can do it, so can a woman.
Do you hear about it a lot? Of course not! You might hear the odd tale, story or experience, but as statistics go, 1 in 7 men compared to 1 in 4 women will be victims of some kind of domestic abuse.
1 in 4 is terrible, and 1 in 7 isn’t a million miles away.
And if you’re still wondering if those tables can be flipped, around 25% of domestic violence calls to police are from male victims.
Do we need to talk about it more?
Absolutely!
Understanding How it Works Both Ways
While the foundational aspects of narcissism work among both genders, there are distinct differences between female and male narcissists and how they operate.
I think if you’re going to want to learn about narcissism, it’s important to learn how this is possible.
The majority of you may be healing or dealing with a past relationship with a male narcissist, but what about friendships? Bosses? Coworkers? Family members?
Female narcissists cover those kinds of people and believe me when I say that you will definitely encounter more than one in your life if you haven’t already.
Yes, it works both ways, and those women will go home to abuse their male partners.
With that being said – let’s get into what that might look like – point by point.
10 Ways Female Narcissists Really Abuse Their Male Partners
1. They Know More
I’m handing women a huge compliment by saying how much more attuned they are to emotions and the psychology of relationships.
Women naturally gravitate to these things as they are primarily the ones in relationships who may initiate conversations that need to happen or who are more in touch with their own feelings and thoughts.
Women look for information that may help them through their personal lives, whereas men are more inclined to just get on with things.
Knowing more about narcissism and how to deal with narcissists can make female narcissists learn how to manipulate that advice.
Which just sounds awful, doesn’t it? It’s more likely that she will be able to play on that if she has information on how to handle being around the very person she is.
2. The Drama is so Easy
It’s easy for narcissistic women to whip up drama, because they pay attention to so many minute details.
I’m not saying they’re more dramatic in general. I’m saying what they take note of is going to be used against their male victims.
And boy, are they good at that!
3. Victim Mode is Supercharged
Due to what we see in the world, and how much we know about male abusers, it’s easy for narcissistic women to play on that and treat themselves as victims.
They do it because they know it’s more likely they’ll be believed, and their male victim stands little to no chance to redeem themselves.
4. It’s All About Sex
Sex is widely known to be the tool of attraction for narcissistic females. With men, you’ll see them using love as their own weapon of choice, as it’s what women tend to want to see from a prospective male.
Women use sex because it tends to be the first thing male victims need. The luring aspect of physical intimacy usually means the male is captivated from the get go.
5. Covert is Their Middle Name
Narcissistic females know how to be subtle. They don’t want to come bounding into somebody’s life and create merry mayhem.
They act like they care. They act as though your best interests are their priority. But they have a game plan, and they will win, no matter what it takes.
Everything is done so insidiously that you won’t even notice until the male victim doesn’t even recognize himself anymore.
6. “You Make The Money”
What a great way for the narcissistic female to put her feet up and pretend she’s got the home covered.
You go out and make the money, and I will make sure your favorite dinner is on the table for you when you get home.
This works initially, and the male victim feels taken care of. He is providing, and he feels empowered, but the narcissistic female takes that away over time by doing less and less.
7. Sensitivity vs. Reactivity
Female narcissists are often more emotional than their male counterparts, which also makes them more likely to be sensitive and reactive.
While all narcissists tend to be sensitive to criticism, female narcissists may be more prone to being hurt, offended, or upset by others.
This can also make them more likely to lash out, become moody or emotional, or shut down when upset.2, 3
8. Mean Girl Status
Narcissistic women are infamously mean. You’ve probably seen the movies over the years where the popular group is mean to the new girl.
This is precisely the kind of behavior to expect from a narcissistic woman to her partner, but only behind closed doors.
In public of course – they’re sweet as pie.
9. They Never Admit Fault – ‘Women Rule’
It’s the longest-standing joke, isn’t it?
Men are always wrong. Women are never right.
Behind every man is a good woman holding them up.
Women are the glue in the relationship.
“I just do as I’m told.”
Let’s break it here for a second because it’s generally a pretty good call to hold women accountable for doing so much and so much good. Whether that be the world or relationships – they’re amazing.
But this is what narcissistic females hold onto – and it’s what gets them out of every bit of trouble you could imagine.
“Women rule. I am right.”
The joke is that, but the reality is far more cunning and dark.
10. The Coy, Shy Beginning
Narcissistic women are incredibly good at playing on their femininity. This isn’t about putting on a pretty dress and fluttering their eyelashes, although believe it or not, that does come into it in some ways.
This beginning of a relationship with a female narcissist is just as captivating for men as it is for women with narcissistic males.
Here’s the thing:
- Narcissistic females employ their sexuality onto men who are perhaps a little shy or introverted. They do this by mirroring that introvertedness. “Look at me, we are so similar.” As soon as the male victim feels safe and secure, that’s when the tables turn.
- Being shy in the beginning allows the male to feel slightly empowered, taking somebody so coy and quiet under their wing to look after. There is this sense of male innate need to do so, but of course, there’s no need.
- The beginning is where all narcissists entrap their victims. As soon as the shy game is bought, that’s when the abuse will ramp up.
