Narcissists are born from narcissists, but not all mothers are as toxic as their offspring.
Sometimes, moms can be the innocent party in it all, and that’s where narcissists can really show up to be the weird people they are.
As relations run high, so does the chance that the narcissist will act out with their mothers, and that’s the road I want to walk with you today.
Let’s look at 10 very weird things narcissists do with their mother, that will explain a lot.
#1 Treat her like a servant, not a parent
Narcissists don’t see their others as a person, they just see her as having her uses that they will take full advantage of.
It’s so weird to me that just because you have a mother, that you have an automatic cleaner, cook; a person to provide and fix your problems.
As a small child, sure, but the older a person gets and the more their narcissistic character develops, the more they will use their mother, instead of appreciate and respect her.
Gratitude is so rare, and they expect support, demanding it like a hot meal on a plate.
Narcissists constantly feel they are owed, and her role as the narcissist’s mother becomes a service.
#2 Compete with her for attention
Narcissists treat their mothers the same way as anybody else when it comes to attention; they want it all, and if their mother has any of it, they will sulk and stomp like spoiled kids.
It’s a crazy world when a person can view their mother as a threat, and will frequently interrupt conversations, change the subjects or create drama, all to get that focus back onto them.
It’s not like normal jealousy, it’s nothing but insecurity on display, and that’s why family events can become stages for the narcissist, rather than a chance to mutually get together and celebrate life.
It’s exhausting to watch, I know. Narcissists just don’t know when or how to let go.
#3 Use her as an emotional dumping ground
A mother should be somebody a person goes to for support, but not somebody who has every emotion dumped on her.
There has to be boundaries and limits, right? Narcissists don’t understand this, they just unload everything onto her. Every piece of anger and frustration, and even blame
She becomes their therapist, their punching bag, and a place to go to when they need to vent.
And what does that do? It leaves mom feeling like she hasn’t got her own life, and that she is nothing but an extension of the narcissist, at their beck and call.
The narcissist just wants release, they don’t look to their mom for a solution, and it repeats and repeats.
In response, there is no support for her from the narcissist. Why would there be?
#4 Show affection only in public
In public, narcissists love to show their mothers affection. They’re warm and attentive, but behind closed doors, they just continue to use and abuse them.
They can be cold and critical to their own mom, and this contrast to what goes on in public is stark.
There’s a hug for the audience and a smile for the crowd, but real affection? Real time? Real listening? That doesn’t exist.
#5 Control her decisions
Narcissistics will question their mother’s choices, even down to the plans she makes and the boundaries that she has.
This isn’t out of care, but out of wanting to be the dominant of the two.
They love to insert their opinions where they’re most certainly not needed.
They want influence, and it’s so strange because parents are supposed to guide children, not the other way around.
It’s weird that a grown person wants to have that much say over the life their mother lives, but this is all about control, yet again. Even when it comes to this personal family dynamic
#6 Completely ignores her needs
As much as a narcissist wants their mom to constantly show up for them, they rarely offer that back to their parent.
If she’s ill, it’s an inconvenience, Her feelings annoy the narcissist, and her struggles are certainly minimized.
They never really ask how she is, uninterested in what’s going on with them, and instead they talk about nothing but themselves.
It’s all ever one direction, and it’s weird that a narcissist can’t even offer a shred of empathy to the person who gave them life.
With a narcissist, it’s all take, take, take.
#7 Use her to gain sympathy from anybody who will listen
Narcissists are painfully good at letting others know how hard they had it in life.
My mom used to…
I had such a hard time…
I always feel so misunderstood…
She was always too…
Mom becomes the character in the story that the narcissist wants to paint, and the twisting can become unreal.
Of course, it’s typical of the narcissist to look like the victims, that’s all they ever want to appear as.
But to use their own mother? Put it this way, nothing is out of the question when it comes to the narrative they want to spin, including making everybody else appear to be the problem.
#8 Pin her up, put her down
One day, mom can be amazing and everything good. Next, she can be a royal pain in the butt and terrible.
What happens in between is nothing but a simple change of mind for the narcissist.
They just feel like treating her differently, and use their power to do so whenever they want.
Imagine what kind of effect this emotional whiplash can have on a person, especially a mother?
Love shouldn’t appear when it suits, it should be there all the time.
#9 Act entitled around her
Just because you are somebody’s child, doesn’t mean you should always expect favors to come flying toward you.
From money to time, it’s not all available at the drop of a hat. It definitely shouldn’t be that way without even giving a smidge of thanks for it.
Narcissists will act entitled around their mother like they do everybody else they know and meet because it’s all they know.
There are no exceptions, sadly, and the mother will have to tolerate it in the same way the rest does.
#10 Blame her whenever anything goes wrong
Something happens? Blame mom.
Struggling? Mom caused it.
The narcissist is unhappy? Mom must be the reason.
Blame shouldn’t be a shield, but to a narcissist, that’s what it is good for.
Instead of reflecting on moments in life, the narcissist redirects it to mom.
And I know, that’s totally not on and dysregulated, but let’s remember who we are dealing with, here.
There is no growth in a narcissist, and no matter how old they are, mom will always be the person who the blame goes to.
If anything, it should tell you a lot about narcissists in general, and just how childish they are on a day to day basis.
Poor mom never catches a break, and the hardest part of having a narcissistic child is having to know what hard journey lies ahead.
