Little comments or statements is all it takes to get under somebody’s skin. Who better to throw those so carelessly at the person they’re supposed to love than a narcissist?

Saying whatever it takes to further abuse and manipulate you. They really have no boundaries when it comes to making you feel all emotions – from terrible to loved.

I want you to know that these ten things serve different purposes. They carefully craft them for you to respond in a way that makes the narcissist even more empowered.

Let’s put a stop to that together, shall we?

The Covert Ways They Love Just To Play The Moment

The present moment is like a playground to the narcissist. If you’re giving off certain vibes or asking a specific question, they’re happy to swerve the answer entirely while making you actually feel bad for asking.

I know, right?

Sadly, it’s a story I hear  all too often.

All For You To Suffer

It will never work in your favor, especially if you have a burning question on your mind. 

Instead, the things a narcissist either says, or responds with, will make you suffer further, and not actually get to the bottom of the issue. 

So, without further ado, shall we take a look at those 10 things?

10 Things Narcissists Say…

“We Don’t Need Anybody Else”

Oh, really? You don’t need anybody? 

Narcissists will make you believe that’s the case because they get a kick out of isolating their victims.

Isolation means you don’t get any support when the going gets tough. You have no other option but to reach out to the narcissist, who will only give you advice or opinion to your own detriment.

“If You Could Just Have One Friend, Who Would You Choose?”

What a way to say, pick me, pick me!

It’s a trick designed for them to divert their attention back to them, and it works every time.

If you say them, they get to be assured that you think of only them as a trusting ally. If you don’t, they will convince you that your choice was wrong and list all the reasons why you should have picked them instead. 

See how manipulation can seep into everything you share or do with them?

“Why Do You Always Overreact?”

Ouch. Do you overreact or respond in a way they don’t like?

Are you showing too much assertiveness?

Are you displaying too much certainty?

Are you revealing too much emotion?

Whatever the reason is – the narcissist won’t be a fan of it, and understandably (for them), they will want to put a stop to it. 

“Not Everything is About You!”

Oh dear, did you ask for a little attention very briefly? Shame on you for taking the spotlight away from them for just a fraction of a second!

I hate this phrase because it’s almost a punishment for acquiring a little attention at a time when perhaps you deserve it.

Maybe you got a new job or you won a competition—I don’t know. My point is—sometimes it is about you.

And you deserve to live that moment fully.

“Nobody Likes You”

Hey, narcissist…

…Are you kidding?

Not only is this a really scathing remark – it’s factually untrue. You’re telling me that there isn’t a soul on earth who likes you?!

I don’t buy it, and neither should you.

It’s cruel, but narcissists love to say it to make you feel complete trash about yourself.

Nobody likes you.

Come on. 

They’re saying to you what they really think of themselves. 

“I Am Always Defending You”

Okay… If you say so…

Narcissists want you to think that they always have your back, but when do you see that in real action?

I mean, they could tell you anything, and you’d believe it, right?

They only ever defend themselves, and if they had a choice between throwing you in the lion’s den, or themselves, they’d pick you every single time.

“You’re Only Successful Because Of Me”

What a way to get a quick laugh! 

Success comes from a person’s efforts to keep trying and not giving up until they achieve what they set out to do.

It has nothing to do with the narcissist, as much as they’d love to take credit for what you do.

You are your own person, and you’re capable of making yourself happy and ticking off your goals without anybody else wanting to steal your certificate!

They can’t stand you not needing them – so this phrase will prove to them that they had a strong hand in it.

“You’re Not The Best, I Am”

Childish, isn’t it? Narcissists can actually argue that they’re better than everybody else, even you, the person they choose to be with!

If something incredible happens to you, they will wave at you and remind you that you’re still only second best.

It’s how they maintain a form of dignity. It’s how they keep their ego alive. It’s how they wreck yours. 

“I’m Only Doing This Because I Care”

Hold up.

Wait a tiny second.

Narcissists? Care?

They don’t care at all. 

Their words are strong and assertive, and anybody would struggle to argue with them when they use them to try and make you feel good.

What a backhanded compliment though, to do or say something detrimental, yet coat it in the false belief that it was said or done through care. 

It’s how they operate – and it’s the very reason people come out of relationships with a narcissist, feeling totally and utterly confused.

On the one hand, they’re told they were valued, but on the other, there were no real positive signs or actions to confirm that value. 

It is a confusing place to be, and it takes a good while to get out of the thought loop that lack of care equates to love.

It really doesn’t. 

“Okay, Okay. Don’t Let It Inflate Your Head!”

Rein yourself in! 

Calm down!

Okay, okay, lower your excitement.

It’s not that big of a deal!

You’ll get a big head if you carry on.

Ever hear any of those things when you become marginally excited or happy about something? It doesn’t have to be anything big, it could be as trivial as your favorite song coming on the radio. 

But guess who’s going to come along and throw water all over your fire?

The narcissist!

And then what?

You sink back into your chair, unable to be given the permission to enjoy a fragment of time in your life without it being cruelly taken from you.

Soon enough you learn to just not be happy or find joy – and that’s exactly the aim of the narcissist.

You do not need permission from anybody else in order to be or express ‘happy.’

Narcissists Are: Masters Of…

Deviation

Anything to detract from the conversation at hand!

Anything to avoid accountability.

Anything to shine the light away from their mistakes. 

Sabotage

They will wreck relationships with words.

They cut and run when the conversation gets mildly deep.

They don’t care if they hurt you.

Manipulation

They say certain things to make you feel guilty, sad, remorseful, angry, or just plain triggered.

They use you to sound off about people you love so that you start to dislike them and pull away. 

Control

They like to express what they need, without considering you at all.

They tell you where you can go, what to wear and how to act. If you don’t do those things, you’re punished.