For you, moving on from the narcissist is a crucial step in healing from what you went through.
I applaud you for that, because not everybody gets to do that.
You should be proud of it, but I do feel it’s my duty to warn you of a few things.
Your healing isn’t in their interest.
They only think about themselves (surprise surprise), and as you grow, they will still want to find ways to tear you back down.
Be on guard – and let’s get into the 10 thoughts of the narcissist as soon as you move on and heal.
Do They Really Think?!
Let’s give narcissists the benefit of the doubt here, because they are known to be thoughtless and cold creatures of humankind.
In reality, they do think. They’re calculating people who prepare for how they will wear you down, and they think constantly of ways to do this effectively.
It’s Not Always What You Expect: Preparation For Anything
Narcissists have a sneaky way of doing whatever it takes, so make no mistake, you really do need to prepare for anything.
Watching you heal is their worst nightmare. They don’t want to see your well-being improve.
They hate thinking you’re okay and that their non-existence had everything to do with that.
10 Thoughts of the Narcissist Once You Move on and Heal
#1 “They Will Be Back”
Ooh, come on, they’re just waiting for you to knock on their door.
Please let me back!
I’m so lost without you!
I regret ever letting you go!
I need you!
You’re the love of my life!
How can I do this thing called life without you?
Oh no. No to all of that. I just needed to reassure you that I don’t assume any of this would cross your mind, but if it does – no.
You’ll be fine.
The narcissist fantasizes that you won’t be fine. And that’s where this thought comes from, and stays well and truly alive.
Yes, it’s partly their ego, but the other part is that they assume the cycle of abuse is still on.
#2 “Where Will My Next Supply Come From?”
Already scavenging like stranded on a desert island, they’re looking for their next meal.
They need fuel, they need supply. Without it, their self-esteem plummets, and they’re left thinking the worst things about themselves.
That’s the thing with narcissists – they all know they’re terrible people underneath it all – and I am talking about the very base layer here.
They know it.
But what they don’t know, as you innocently heal, is where they will find another you.
#3 “How Can I Punish Them?”
Get ready for a little outburst from the narcissist, as they struggle to not think of punishing you.
They’ve seen you grow, heal, and move on, yet they still want to get to you from afar. Many try to succeed, but it depends on how much you want to engage in it all.
You can ignore it. Pretend they don’t exist and carry on happily.
As the idea of punishment rises, some past victims get roped back into the dysfunction.
And it never ends well.
The best revenge on a narcissist is a life well lived.
Don’t let their attempt to punish you fall detrimental to your healing. They will claim your positive move is negative – shut it out!
#4 “Smear Campaign: Activated!”
One of the first thoughts the narcissist will have is how they create the kind of smear campaign that sets all of your healing back.
Seeing you happily finding contentment in life once again, they will want to do anything to derail that inner peace and leave you feeling unsettled and anxious.
Roping in other people to turn against you will simply have to be something you tolerate.
Responding to it is futile and gives away too much precious energy. Being bothered by it changes very little, if anything at all.
#5 “How Dare They?!”
Narcissists will run this thought over and over their minds.
How dare they leave me?! What sheer audacity?!
Who do they think they are?!
In truth – narcissists are not narcissists without that unhealthy level of entitlement and assumption that you must stay with them to be somebody.
If you move on, you’re showing the narcissist that you found a better way to live and that they aren’t the best.
If anything, the ‘how dare they’ can be rerouted to, ‘How dare they remind me how much I hate myself?!’
#6 “Who Are They With Now?”
The narcissist will want to know exactly who you’re with because, deep down, their insecurities will be eating away at them.
As they compare themselves to who you’re with now, they will look at what you walk away from and to.
This brings their jealousy to the forefront and will show you all the insecure thoughts the narcissist has about themselves.
Remember—they truly hate who they are, and you’re going to be the reminder of that as you heal and grow.
#7 “I Need To Win Them Back”
As somebody used to hoovering you back up after that final discard, they will see this as no different a time.
What will work this time? Flowers? Chocolates? An engagement ring?
They will come back, they always do.
Not this time.
There has to be a last time, right?
If it’s now, make sure you’re also reaffirming your promise to never return to the scene of the crime.
#8 “I Didn’t Like Them Anyway”
Nooo… of course they didn’t!
Anything to save face and not look like the person who lost out, right?
Narcissists take great pride in not looking as though they ‘need’ anybody – that can include you if you get up and leave.
Looking unbothered makes you seem unimportant to them and the rest of the world, which is exactly where they want you to be.
#9 “They Walked Away From Me?!”
What are they going to do without me?
They will need me eventually!
They are going to be lost without my knowledge/skills/general presence…
Dear narcissist:
Believe it or not, the world doesn’t revolve around you, and people have the right to leave, heal, and move on.
They won’t need you, nor will they regret their decision and come back.
#10 “I Need To Show People I’m Still Desirable”
Narcissists commonly use your healing and moving on time to reinvent themselves.
It’s their desperate attempt to be seen and heard again. Perhaps a new job, location, or image will prove they are still desirable.
With that comes the inevitable draw-in of new people…
…Equalling new supply!
