Imagine a time narcissists were honest!
Imagine a time where narcissists would say what they really think and feel!
Yikes – could you imagine? The world would naturally carry on turning as normal but the narcissist’s world would implode!
Narcissists keep secrets and lie on purpose, they don’t just do it because they feel like it.
It’s important to know why they lie by highlighting the things they’d say if they were actually honest.
And that’s where I come in!
Are Narcissists Ever Honest?!
Hands up if you’ve ever been with a narcissistic person who is honest.
Hello?
Anybody…?
Didn’t think so.
That’s because they thrive on a bed of lies, while you just about survive.
Honesty Brings With it The Truth
No narcissist wants to reveal the truth, and that’s why they just cannot be honest.
The truth will have you up and leaving, and then what?
They have nobody to suck the life out of!
The 10 Things Narcissists Would Say If Only They Were Honest
1. “I Hate You!”
Look, as much as you might not want to admit it, the narcissist would love to tell you how much they hate you honestly.
They don’t like you for various reasons, but the pretense can be off the charts.
Convincing you they love you works hand in hand with the intermittent offerings of affection they provide.
When they revert to the discard or devaluation stages of the cycle of abuse, you await the next time you’re breadcrumbed back to the false state of loving security.
If they were being completely honest, they would tell you they hated you.
They don’t say it because they need you more than they’d ever care to admit.
2. “I Never Loved You”
You heard it a million times, and they would even get angry if you said you didn’t feel the love for them.
I try my best to show you that I love you and it’s never good enough for you!
I put myself out there for you, and you just throw it back in my face!
I took you to the city for a five star weekend and show, and you think I don’t love you?!
Narcissists think that showing love means throwing money at something or simply telling you they love you.
People can use all the words they want to, but unless it’s correlated with loving, respect, and loyalty, saying “I love you” means absolutely nothing.
If they had the opportunity to speak without a lie, they’d tell you that they never loved you. It was all an act to get something from you.
And yes, it hurts. It’s supposed to hurt.
3. “You Make Me Sickeningly Jealous”
Anything you have that they want, the narcissist is going to be green with envy about.
A better job than them?
You’re in better shape than them?
More confident?
Do you have a natural zest for life?
You’re confident?
More money?
An honest and compassionate charm about you?
All of these kinds of things will drive narcissists wild.
Do you know how long they have to work to get even a fraction of what I just wrote, or how much they have to pretend to gain even a tiny bit of respect from others?
Narcissists are forever jealous of people who are more successful in any aspect of their lives.
Instead of using a healthy and normal dose of envy to inspire them to head on a similar path, they feel it necessary to destroy your happiness.
Narcissists can water all over the sunniest of days, turning blue skies to grey. Their presence can sap the energy out of a room almost immediately.
If they were being honest with you, they’d admit this about them.
4. “I Don’t Like a Single Part of Myself”
I’d love to hear a narcissist be brutally honest about this part of themselves, because those of us who truly know them – know they can’t stand the person they are.
Hearing a narcissist say these things would mean they’re leaning into a very vulnerable side they’ve never shown anybody before.
This side of a narcissist will never be revealed because they’re too busy trying to pretend they’re perfect so you don’t suspect them.
They’re too busy denying reality – as it only acts as a problem they know they cannot fix.
5. “I’m Scared of Intimacy”
If you knew this about the narcissist, you’d know that all their rejections were not because of you.
You should know that already, but you won’t because they will make excuses, or blame you for trying to be too needy.
Eventually, you’ll convince yourself this is actually true and see a fault in your approach to them in your relationship.
Narcissists are scared of intimacy. They hate the thought of laying their heart down and risking it getting hurt.
Even though they love intimacy, they hate letting the guard around their heart drop.
6. “I’m Not Who You Think I Am”
Haha! I mean. I’m genuinely laughing as I’m writing this because I’m imagining a narcissist with their head bowed, admitting they’re a narcissist.
If they were to be honest, they’d say it.
But – they’re not!
7. “I’m Studying You To Manipulate You”
Watching you, breathing in your insecurities, asking you questions that lead to the divulgement of your secrets—it all revolves around studying you and knowing you better than you think you know yourself.
If you knew this from the start, you wouldn’t have to go through all those triggering and upsetting episodes that they put you through.
8. “I’m Here To Play Games and Mess You Up!”
Run!
Run quickly!
That’s what you’d do, right? You’d get out of there faster than you could say ‘red flag!’
Except, well, they don’t make it that easy for us. Instead, they stick around and dig deep into our insecurities.
Their honest reason for entering your life is far from loving you or wanting to value you forever. And while that hurts to realize, it hurts all the more because you get mad for falling for the games.
9. “Never Believe a Word I Say”
How many of you would that save if the narcissist was to just say, “Look, you know what? I will say mean things to you, but you shouldn’t believe them because they’re untrue. It just makes me feel better.”
10. “I Am Extremely Insecure”
They would drop the one phrase onto the floor afterward if they muttered. Narcissists are insecure, but you will never find a single one who will admit this.
Their insecurities are covered up by bravado and unkindness. That’s never going to change.
How To Outsmart The Narcissist?
Outsmarting a narcissist might seem like something you would never be able to do.
Think of all those times that toxic person has made you feel small, or even nothing. The idea of outsmarting them won’t come naturally to you, right?
Wrong!
You can absolutely outsmart a narcissist. They won’t see it coming, they won’t see you coming – and it will be a shock to their narcissistic system!
Finding ways to outsmart a narcissist can be fun, and it will put you right back in control of your life.
So, let’s see a show of hands to see who’s with me?
Narcissists: The Truth Behind the Mask
Narcissists!
You’ve likely encountered them at some point in your life, right? That’s why you’re here!
Narcissists walk into a room and act like they own it, even if they’ve just walked into your kitchen. It’s incredibly frustrating.
Masters at creating a toxic air of confidence and superiority, narcissists hide behind their mask. Behind it all? Insecurity and neediness!
You know it well, I’m certain!
Narcissists can be charming and persuasive when they want to be.
They’re also incredibly convincing at it.
But don’t be fooled.
Their charm is a well-rehearsed act designed to get what they want, whether from you or from others.
They thrive on control and manipulation, and will do what it takes to continue this weird game of human chess they are experts at.
Understanding the core of a narcissist is crucial for all of us – especially you.
Beneath all charm and smiles, they are often fragile. They fear their true selves being exposed – and they do all they can so that doesn’t happen.
This fragility makes them dangerous, but it also makes it possible to outsmart them.
Once you know what exactly is lurking behind the mask, you’ll be much better equipped to deal with their toxic tactics.
They Think They’re So Clever!
Narcissists believe they are the smartest person in the world, and nobody else compares even marginally.
They convince themselves of this, and do their best to convince others too.
They use their quote-on-quote “intelligence” to dominate conversations and situations, which only makes others feel inferior. Is this a familiar story to you?
It is to so many people, sadly.
The narcissist has a deep sense of superiority, which acts as a double-edged sword.
Yes, it fuels their confidence and bravado. But also, it makes them vulnerable to being outsmarted. If you think about it, anybody can outsmart them, and it certainly doesn’t take much at all.
Their arrogance blinds them to their own weaknesses, which can backfire on them!
What does this mean? Well, it means the narcissist can sometimes really underestimate others.
Good news for you though – as this overconfidence is where you can find your edge.
Dealing with a narcissist requires more than just holding your ground; it’s about understanding their playbook and using their own tactics against them. They think they’re so clever, but with a little knowledge and strategy, you can turn the tables.
You? Really? …
Yes! Really!
You’re here because you’ve had enough of the narcissist’s mind games, right?
Outsmarting them is now a healthy option for you, and you should definitely do all you can to do it.
If the narcissist is your friend, boss, family member or lover – the time has come to regain control and peace of mind.
You’re so not alone.
Many people struggle with how to handle narcissists effectively.
The key?
Outsmart them!
Let’s get to the good bit…
How to Outsmart a Narcissist
#1 Be Firm – Set Your Boundaries!
Narcissists are known to thrive on pushing limits, no matter who they belong to. Oh yes, expect boundaries to be constantly tested. They will look for your weakness and then exploit them, until now, that is!
The first step in outsmarting a narcissist is to get your boundaries as firm and clear as possible. This means being completely transparent about behavior you will accept, and what behavior you won’t.
Don’t stop short at setting boundaries, you have to enforce them too. When that narcissist attempts to walk all over them, you have to calmly and consistently push back.
Make your language clear – and assertive. No, they won’t like it, but hey, this isn’t about them anymore, is it? The less emotion you apply, the better. After all, narcissists feed off any kind of reaction.
Composure is key, just like consistency.
#2 “Gray Rock”
The gray rock method is such an empowering tool when dealing with any narcissist.
The idea of gray rock is to make yourself as uninteresting and unresponsive as possible.
You might think that sounds easy but it does take a little practice to get it just right.
Remember, narcissists crave drama and seeing you act ‘overly-emotional.’ By being boring and unengaging, you deny them that very satisfaction they seek.
Bingo!
When they try to provoke you, be bland. Be the human equivalent of vanilla.
Avoid showing anger, frustration, excitement – any of it. Over time, they are strongly likely to lose interest in trying to manipulate you because you’re not giving them the fuel they need.
You’ve become so boring!
No…. I am just doing my best to outsmart your attitude…
#3 Deflection – Master It!
Narcissists love to put you on the spot – it’s their attempt to make you feel uncomfortable.
One way to tackle this is to master what I like to call the art of deflection.
Whenever they try to criticize or undermine you, that’s when you redirect the conversation. Ask them a question that shifts the focus back onto them or onto a neutral topic.
I’ll give you an example.
They criticize your decorating work at home (how predictable, right?)
Now you respond with, “Interesting point. What do you think about the weather lately?”
It sounds crazy, but it really throws them off and totally stops them in their tracks.
#4 Information is Preparation!
Ah yes, narcissists will often use misinformation and lies to manipulate everybody else.
You can outsmart them here by being well-informed and prepared. Do your research, re-check facts, and even have evidence to back it all up.
Many people I know have been known to write down information or revert to old texts for screenshots to prove their points.
This will all reduce the narcissist’s ability to use deception against you.
This is all about concrete information – and who can argue with the facts?
#5 Gather Your Support System
It’s not uncommon for narcissists to isolate their victims to assert themselves and gain more control.
You can maintain a strong network of people you love and trust. Seek support from anybody you know who may understand the situation you’re in, and who can provide advice.
Encouragement is also heavily advised here!
Having that crucial support system will help you stay grounded in your reality. When a narcissist is trying their best to get to you, you have people you can rely on to turn to.
Let’s start unlock that potential!
