I’m not kidding when I tell you that narcissists are master thieves.
However, they won’t steal the usual things (at least not always!)
Instead, they reach into you and take parts of you that you didn’t permit them to have.
With a sprinkling of charm and manipulation, they will slowly take what matters most. It happens subtly, often without you noticing, and then you’re left drained, doubting yourself, and wondering how it got this far.
What exactly do they steal? I’m ready to show you!
Like a Thief in the Night!
It’s always unexpected with the narcissist, isn’t it? The way they covertly steal from you is how they take what’s yours with you even fully realizing the extent of their theft.
From time to time, I do hear people say to me, “He/she literally took everything from me,” and I often think, yeah, you know what?
They don’t just stop at one thing. They aren’t interested in particulars; they want it all.
I see the pain and heartache it causes when those people wake up to what’s been happening.
Why Take?
I know for a fact that narcissists have nothing. Even the ones with all the expensive cars and houses have nothing, because what I’m talking about isn’t material goods at all.
They take parts of you that you can’t see, feel, or touch but that you know are there. The reason they do this is so that they can’t see it on you anymore.
The smile you once had that lit up any room you walked in so effortlessly – they will wipe it from you. You shouldn’t shine so brightly.
The joy you feel when Christmas comes and you love nesting and putting the tree up – they will endeavor to ramp up the conflict. You shouldn’t be so happy.
Whatever you have that they want, they will steal it.
10 Things Narcissists Steal From You
#1 Inner Peace
I’m jumping right in with this one!
There’s no point in searching for inner peace when you spend a lot of time with a narcissist, because you aren’t going to get it.
It’s not be what you want to hear, but in truth, they will steal it from you as soon as they can.
You have to understand that narcissists don’t like your peace. They don’t like that you can regulate your emotions, cope with the stress of life, and juggle all your responsibilities.
And I’m sure you have tough days like most of us, right? But your ability to lock down your inner peace and know that ‘you’ve got this’ is not okay with them.
So – unfortunately, yes – they will steal it from you because they want to see you as a ball of anxious, depressed mess.
#2 Your Self Esteem
Just when you think you’ve got your self-esteem at a healthy level, it’s swiped from you.
You won’t even realize it’s been taken. It’ll just be that you wake up one day, and decide that you aren’t good enough for that job. You won’t wear that dress any more. You no longer believe you are good at your hobbies.
And that will be the day you understand that something was taken from you. Something you’d had all your life over time was pieced away from you until that final piece brought your world crashing down.
Your self-esteem rules everything you do. It’s like a mini cheerleader in your soul, and now it no longer exists…
…Thanks to the narcissist.
#3 Who You Are
Identity is what makes us. It’s what forms every aspect of our lives. Without it, we don’t know who we are.
That can lead to making huge mistakes or decisions that don’t benefit us. We can fall into bad habits. Our values go right out the window. We don’t align with anything, because there’s nothing to work with.
I’ll tell you what happens.
The narcissist steals parts of you that form your identity. They take how you think, and replace it with confusion.
They take how you love being creative making home crafts every Tuesday night, and replace it with their own favorite TV show.
They replace how you love baking with takeouts or pre-prepared meals.
Everything you love and have grown in your own heart, is taken.
#4 Energy Sappers!
Imagine a balloon filled up, but right before you tie it, you let out the sir, bit by bit until you’re left with a floppy, wrinkly old balloon that doesn’t look the same.
I can only liken this to the way the narcissist saps your energy, a little amount each day until you realize there’s nothing left.
You’re a shadow of who you used to be, and you no longer know yourself.
If you present with any kind of energy or joy, prepare to have it stolen from you by the narcissist. They don’t use it for themselves, but taking it brings them that joy.
#5 Your Precious Time
Time is a real soul-killer, isn’t it? All the time you wasted trying to convince them to love you or keep to their word.
The years of hoping things would change, and it never did. The narcissist stole your time to keep you hooked and in line with their control.
I can’t sugarcoat that.
#6 Any Hope You Have
That hope I mentioned is palpable. Victims really hope the relationship will last, bloom in some way, recover from the conflict, or simply be what they promised it would be.
Hope is taken in the way they treat you, yet you’ll stick around because they say sorry and promise to change.
They never do.
#7 Your Privacy
If you want privacy, you can forget it!
The narcissist doesn’t care about what you want to keep sacred. Your phone is their phone. Your life is their life. They want to know everything you do, and every part of you so they can keep tabs on you.
It’s all part of their grand scheme to control you even more than they currently do.
#8 Your Independence
When you meet a narcissist, you may have lots going on in your own life.
Over time, they will take them from you. Your hobbies. That book club you go to every Tuesday. Your Sunday morning runs. The job you commute to.
Even as far as finances – the narcissist will create a dependent, clingy person so that you never leave.
#9 Your Sense of Safety
All we want is to feel safe with the person we love and share a relationship with. There’s nothing about narcissists that makes us feel safe. Think about how uncertain you feel all the time in their company.
What mood will they be in?
How will they react to this or that?
Are they cheating?
Nobody needs this. Your safety will be pulled from underneath your feet like a rug.
#10 Those Around You
They will worm their way in if they want to be best friends with your brother. If they see your friends as close-knit, they will want to join you every night out. They will present the best version of themselves at all times, and eventually use them by:
- Telling them secrets about you
- Offloading problems
- Telling them how needy or controlling you can be
- Speaking of intimate moments
Nothing will be sacred anymore.