10 Things Narcissists Do When They Are Alone or Nobody is Looking

If only you could really see what narcissists get up to when you aren’t looking.

Would you be surprised? I think you would because it would give you real insight into the act they put on for the world to see.

When narcissists are alone, you’ll not only see that act disappear – you’ll see them completely differently.

Narcissists never want you to see what they do when they’re alone.

Luckily, you don’t have to, because I can tell you right now!

Wouldn’t You Love to Know?!…

You think you know a person, but let me tell you – you never really know anybody – least of all the narcissist.

When alone, they will do whatever it takes to keep themselves mentally and emotionally charged. 

Absolutely nothing is off-limits.

The Insight Reveals Everything

Knowing these 11 things will open your eyes to the real character of the narcissist. 

Prepare to be completely shocked at the lengths they go to, to keep their ego alive. 

10 Things Narcissists Do The Moment They’re Alone

You’d better get ready for some shocking revelations. If a narcissist is in your life, you’re going to want to know every single one of these.

#1 Scroll Social Media Looking For Fault or Fact

Any gossip or news the narcissist can extract, they will.

Look at what so and so did with their work bonus this year?

I saw how much weight your friend gained.

I noticed we weren’t invited to your cousin’s birthday.

They will hunt for fault. They will hunt for facts. 

They will drag you into it as much as they can the next time they see you. 

#2 Checking Up On Their Exes

You may not realize it, but narcissists are famous for checking up on the people they used to date. 

The ‘ones who got away’ are now out there living a new life without the narcissist – and it results in a lot of interest from them.

They want to know if they’re suffering or alone. They want to see if they’re living a dream life with somebody new – emotionally healthy. 

They snoop, compare, and do it because they can’t let go of the people they used to control so strongly. 

When nobody is around, what does it matter what they do, right? Well, that’s how the narcissist thinks, anyway. Unable to let go of the past, they will hold on to what they truly once thought was theirs.

Like some kind of warped idea of possession. 

#3 They Talk With Whoever They Can

Fill the silence, fill the silence! 

Narcissists can’t sit around with their own thoughts or (shallow) feelings for long. They need to tap into the lives of others.

Anybody who will listen – come and share your news!

They will call or text absolutely anybody willing to give them a few minutes of their time just to fill those voids and prevent them from further self-loathing. 

#4 They Grab Their Substance or Addiction of Choice

Alcohol.

Drugs.

Food.

Gambling. 

Porn.

They’re going to reach for whatever it is that temporarily eases their pain. The pain you never get to see, yet you always seem to be on the receiving end of. 

Narcissists think nothing of what makes them feel better. As far as they are aware, as long as it does the trick, that’s all that matters. 

The self-soothing nature of a narcissist is fickle and problematic. All their addictions lead to further problems, and further hate for themselves will ensue. 

That hate is turned outward to you.

#5 New Targets?

Can they seek new supply? Well, they can try!

I once talked with a client who was divorcing her narcissistic husband. One day, the soon-to-be ex bumped into my client’s brother in town, and he managed to persuade the brother to go for coffee. 

Of course, it didn’t go down well with my client and her brother. She felt betrayed, but the brother was insistent that he felt backed into a corner.

That’s what they do.

They are constantly looking for ways to tangle your life up even more. They will do that by drawing people you love in. They will look to triangulate at any given opportunity. 

New targets are never off-limits.

#6 Research!

If they want to get under your skin, they will use their alone time to figure out how to do that. If that means researching something you worry about so they can use it to your disadvantage, they will. 

Narcissists are constantly plotting their next move, and if they see an opportunity for some time where nobody will bother them – they will take it!

#7 Personal Care – Gotta Look Good!

They want to look a little bit better the next time they present themselves to the public. 

Did you get a new haircut?

Is that a new jacket?

Did you lose weight?

Your skin is glowing!

It all matters – looks and image are top of the narcissist’s list of priorities. If you were to try and convince them otherwise, you’d be labeled jealous or some kind of slob for not feeling the same about yourself. 

They want to constantly become better versions of themselves, because to them, perfection is something you don’t unconditionally have, it’s something you have to work to keep. 

#8 Online Fights

Being alone and having no drama going on is going to backfire unless they can claw it from somewhere.

It isn’t uncommon for narcissists to scroll social media posts or forums in order to stir up some hate, or to rub people up the wrong way.

May I add right here that these people are strangers, but that doesn’t matter to the narcissist.

A win is a win, right?

It’s actually quite pathetic that they have to pick fights online with people. For starters, you really don’t know who you’re dealing with. You can also get into trouble for saying certain things, but mostly – the bravery of people behind keyboards is always very telling on who they are as a person in real life.

These types of people nearly always hate themselves. 

Just like the average narcissist. 

#9 They Won’t Forget To Wallow

What is narcissistic life without a little self-pity?! Wallowing has to come from their cold heart when nobody is watching – and they will do that in private!

You have to remember that narcissists actually hate themselves.

It comes as no surprise that they will allow that out a little behind closed doors. 

#10 Go Through Your Stuff

I mean, I don’t even think I need to tell you that narcissists will go through every inch of your belongings when you aren’t looking. 

Part of this is that they see you as them, and that boundaries don’t exist between you both.

You and I know how untrue that is – but they will see it as their right to know everything about you. Going through your stuff is how they find out little things about you that you’ve kept private. They’re looking to blame you for something.

 And they won’t stop until they get what they want.