It pains me to think the narcissist is good at anything. I don’t want to give them unnecessary credit for things they say or do.
These things, however, are slightly different. The 10 things a narcissist is good at is not a list of how wonderful they are, but instead how being toxic is like an art for them.
As art is subjective, you have my permission to think each point only further resembles how terrible a person they are.
#1 Pretending to be the best
And I mean at everything. If you dare get near them with anything you’re good at, they will see you as a direct threat and will overpower you in no time at all.
You can always rely on a narcissist to pretend though, can’t you? Even if they have no experience whatsoever with what they’re trying to prove, they will talk about it like they’re some kind of expert. Why?
Because they want to be better at everything than you are.
Because they want to appear clever.
Because the league they think they live in, they want to convince you it’s also where they are, too.
#2 Flaunting money
Narcissists aren’t usually millionaires, but they sure as heck try to live like them.
And yeah, there are celebrities out there who do have the cash to grow around, but your average narcissist next door will do things differently.
For example, the amount of cash they carry around with them. Huge wads of notes to make them look like they are worth their weight in gold.
Then there’s the material stuff. The car, the watch, the shoes, the jewellery. If it sparkles and attracts attention, the narcissist is in their element.
And they’re very good at doing it.
#3 Criticism
I don’t want to bring this onto the list, but they really are brilliant at throwing critical comments around.
They know just what to say to make people feel their worst, but more than that, believe these things about themselves.
They craft how they steal supply, and as you become the latest victim to their harsh words, they sleep very well at night knowing you feel just that little bit worse about yourself.
And the criticism never stops, either. It is a continuous battle to even believe in yourself,
which makes it difficult for you to want to fulfill your dreams, or even do the most basic of life changes, like apply for a job you like the sound of, or join that fitness class you’ve had your eye on.
You don’t realize how words have a major effect on you, all from somebody who claims to love you.
#4 Lies
We always knew that, right? Lies ooze out of their mouth so easily, and at first you don’t even realize they’re doing it.
Like when they meet you and tell you that you’re the best thing to happen to them.
Or when they say they can’t picture themselves with anybody else ever again. Or when they say they’ll never hurt you or cause you to question their loyalty.
If a narcissist is talking, they’re lying. Nothing is authentic, yet we all buy into what they say. Even when they see us at a party and exchange nice words to you.
Wow, that top looks amazing on you!
There’s just something about the tone of voice that makes you think, “Yeah, right.” And of course, you then start picking yourself apart.
Does it really look good? Do I look hideous in it? Is it too big or too small?
#5 Keeping you on edge
Feeling on edge comes from how narcissists lack such basic life skills and kindness, such as how to remain consistent in mood and emotion.
One minute they’re as cold as ice, not wanting to talk to you, and being the cruelest version of themselves they can be.
The next, they can’t get enough of you and want to buy you all the gold in the world.
#6 Turning people against you
Just when you think you’ve got an army of friends and family on your side, they seem to drift away one by one.
For what reason, I hear you ask. I hate to say it, but the reason is the narcissist you’ve got close to you.
The person who is very good at making you out to be a person you’re not with sob stories where they are the victim.
Spreading rumors about you that aren’t true is another sure fire way for you to lose people.
Making out that you’re the abuser, or that you’re in some way ‘hard work’ to love or be around.
#7 Making you doubt yourself
Gaslighting is evil in every aspect of the meaning. The one thing you’d hope to hold onto is the feeling of self-confidence.
You want, and have the right to be confident in your own thoughts and opinions, what you want from life, what you’re good at, what your hobbies are, what you believe in.
And your reality!
These are cruelly and cleverly taken away by the narcissist, who chooses instead to cause you to doubt yourself in all ways.
Before you know it, you’re agreeing with them and relying on them to be the voice of truth and reason.
What a control to hand over.
#8 Causing mental illness
You can be in an environment that makes you sick. And the longer that you’re in it, the more sick you will become.
Your body will give out small warning signs, making you think there’s something physically wrong with you, but the roots are all tied back to that of depression, anxiety, insomnia, low self-esteem, C-PTSD, and more.
You didn’t think about connecting your struggles with the person you’re with, but when you take a step back and look at the big picture, it’s frighteningly obvious.
Narcissists are simply great at causing your mental health to decline.
#9 Never being accountable
Wait, do you honestly think I did that?
Why would you accuse me of such a thing?
I don’t know what you’re talking about.
I’m not owning up to something you did.
It’s a battle, and one many find common in narcissistic dynamics. They never hold their hands up and say, “You know what? I wasn’t perfect for a hot minute. I am so sorry I did that, and it won’t happen again.”
I really wish they would, but if they did, they’d actually have a moral compass and some kind of conscience.
Narcissists have neither.
#10 Punishing you
Do you ever get the silent treatment for no reason? Perhaps you’ve learned there is always a reason, and that you’ve obviously done something wrong for it to be that way.
You haven’t.
Does the narcissist always cancel something you’ve really wanted to go to because you had a fight?
You miss out, and they love the idea of you feeling bad about that.
Maybe they run your tank down to empty so you can’t leave the drive because you said something wrong at dinner.
Whatever the punishment, they’re really only doing it to themselves, not you. It’s the only way they get to feel good about their lives, and you have to suffer for it.
