Narcissists come in all shapes and sizes, and both men and women are included! Today, I want to focus on narcissistic men.
There are too many of them out there unleashing their toxicity and abuse into the world – and potentially onto you.
If you’re just starting dating the guy of your dreams and something isn’t quite adding up, you might find this topic useful.
Looking for signs that you’re dating a narcissist can help you escape before they get too much of their controlling claws into you.
Here are 10 signs you are dating a narcissistic man.
#1 He only shows you love when he feels like he’s losing you
When the panic sets in, the compliments and affection will come flooding through after.
I promise you that the two are related, this is no coincidence. The narcissist doesn’t love naturally or innately.
Instead, they love by condition, and if you are pulling away, they will show that love to you in the hope you come back.
It’s the age old thing of not appreciating who you have until they look like they’re leaving, but in the most toxic way imaginable.
The narcissist’s interest in you will decline, falling away rapidly. As it does, you might think, “What am I doing this for?
They don’t even seem like they want to see me.” As you drift, they will want to reign you back in.
#2 He never takes accountability
This behavior starts early on, and trust me, it’s so frustrating.
A grown man who can’t even hold his hands up and say, “Yeah, that was really bad of me, and I apologize.
What can I do to make it better?” Not only say these things, but mean them, too.
That’s the key, right? You’re after somebody who you want to see burn a hole in your lack of faith, and prove that they can be trusted and depended on.
Not taking accountability proves they feel they’re too good to be at fault for anything.
You want somebody who shows up and self-reflects? You’re looking at the wrong guy.
#3 He calls his embarrassments toward you “jokes”
Is it a joke if every time he opens his mouth you feel hurt?
No. It’s a purposeful way to get a reaction out of you, and it works because you choose kindness and he doesn’t.
He chooses to make you feel small and irrelevant – two things he himself is petrified of feeling.
They’re jokes in his eyes because he thinks he’s being funny, but he also knows he’s overstepping and being a tool.
#4 He does something… and makes you feel crazy for reacting
Why are his actions suddenly your problem?
You have nothing to do with how he lives his life, yet he makes you feel you’ve suddenly got the power to decide how he feels.
It’s funny as during the rest of your time together he takes that power away and throws it in the bin, isn’t it?
Why are you the crazy one because you react to something he did that was terrible?
It’s like he wants to be able to do what he wants without consequence.
Is he a child?
No. Much worse. He’s a narcissist.
#5 He ignores your feelings, calling you “too emotional”
Your feelings are valid, no matter what they are.
If you’re choosing to share them, you’re already doing things he only wishes he had the courage to do.
Calling you too emotional simply means he wants you to feel bad for being able to face your emotions in a healthy way, while wanting to open up about them.
That kind of vulnerability is impossible for a narcissist.
#6 He talks about himself but barely listens when you talk
Are you supposed to just roll out the red carpet every time this guy opens his mouth and starts talking?
You know it’s just going to be more and more schpiel about himself, and you’ve heard it already a dozen times even though you’re only on your third date.
And when you talk?
Forget it.
He’d sooner be staring out the window or at the waitress’s derriere!
What a way to make you feel insignificant. That’s what they’re good at though, right? If they aren’t at the center of conversation, they lose their power.
#7 As soon as you try walking away, he becomes the perfect man
You think, “Nah. This isn’t for me. There’s something about him that I don’t like.” Right there in that moment is when he chooses to give you what you want…
…For a week!
Then things go back to the way they were, and your idea of perfection fades once more.
He will pull it out the bag when he needs to, but as soon as you look and sound like you want to stick around, he disappears again.
#8 He’s allowed female friends, but he controls who you talk to
So, let’s get this straight. Mr Narcissist can be friends with whomever he wants, including female friends, maybe even exes, and you aren’t even allowed to see your best friend from back in college, or your own family?
It’s one rule for him ,and another for you. This is not healthy, and of course just a way to control you.
If you agree with him and let him do that, it will be the subconscious permission he needs to take another step further and act even worse with you.
This man is entitled. He wants what he wants, and you just have to put up with it and keep quiet.
The more friends you have, the bigger your support system will be. He wants to cut through that like a knife and leave you isolated.
Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
#9 You feel confused, insecure, drained, but you blame yourself
Is it me?
There’s little point in asking yourself this question because you will default to yes based on your lack of confidence and how this narcissist is already changing your perception of reality.
The drained feeling, the confusion; it’s all down to him and how he’s treating you.
This is not your imagination, but a consequence of being emotionally abused.
This is the point where if you haven’t considered getting out, I would do so. If you’re still dating and this is already happening, I can promise you that it won’t get better.
#10 You don’t feel safe deep down, but you hope he will change
There’s just something that doesn’t feel right. You feel like you want to be safe, but that there’s a large part of you that just doesn’t sense it.
And you hope it’s your imagination. You’re still getting to know him. Only when you meet him, there’s a gut feeling that you can’t shake.
You want it to change, so you give it more time. In that time, he will manipulate you more and more, making it harder for you to leave.
If you sense that you don’t feel safe deep down, ask yourself what advice you’d give to your best friend or daughter in that situation.
If the answer is to leave, then that’s all you need to know.
