Ideally, we all want narcissist to wear the T-shirt:
I’m a narcissist, stay away!
Unfortunately, we are merely left with learning the art of narcissism so that we can begin to spot them ourselves, and it passes a lot of people by.
You’ll notice a lot of information you’ll find out there directly relates to just male narcissists, but I want to change things up a little.
Female narcissists exist, and they work hard to differentiate themselves from the male species.
If you want to be able to spot the top 10 signs of the female narcissist, then I’ve got you covered.
Oh, They Exist Alright…
You think they don’t – but I’m here to tell you that they do…
…I have met more than my fair share!
Knowing The Female Narcissist
Knowing the female narcissist may not come as quickly or naturally to you, and that’s because females tend to be:
- The softer sex
- The more understanding
- The more patient
- The more empathic
- The less likely to run on negativity
Generally speaking, females are more seen and known to be the ones who hold everything together, and who are the most at risk for any kind of personal relationship abuse.
Why They’re Hard To Spot
Well, for those very reasons, female narcissists hide in public.
You can’t pick them out from a crowd, because they work in far more covert ways than their male counterparts.
10 Female Narcissist Signs
1. They Are Much More Covert
Sly is the middle name of the majority of female narcissists. They’re so good at pretending to be normal, that it’s almost scary.
What differs the most from male narcissists is their ability to be subtle so that they can get further under the skin of their victims and for longer.
Indeed, most people don’t spot covert narcissism for much longer, and sometimes it can take years.
Do you know how much damage a person can do throughout that long, and how much abuse a person can take?
Women play such a sweet, sincere role over their covert narcissism, and you’d be surprised how many people not only believe it, but consider them to be great friends.
2. Good At Playing Victim
Often portraying themselves as misunderstood, female narcissists pull out the victim card to gain sympathy from people – either whom they know, or don’t know.
What comes with gaining sympathy? Well, there’s validation, support, and the feeling that you’re ‘seen.’
Do you think any narcissist needs more of that?! I don’t! Yet it does come so easy to the toxic females out there, and all of that equates to much needed supply.
3. They Know Everything
Narcissism is not usually studied by men unless they’re directly affected by somebody who ticks all the boxes.
I’m speaking very generally here, but no man will willingly sit and read or watch something in detail to learn about it unless they have to, or want to.
Narcissism is known to all – but the twisty, intricate turns the whole personality disorder takes is vastly unknown to them.
Women on the other hand are known for wanting to clue themselves up on behaviors, emotions and relationships.
They lean more into understanding the difference between men and women, and look for ways to support that.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder is of huge interest to covert narcissists. If they can study and learn it, they can also learn to beat it and override any suspicion.
This makes it even harder to dig out the female covert narcissists in society!
Doesn’t it make you sick?
4. The Woman Card
I’m a woman, this doesn’t happen because of me – it happens to me!
Well, statistically speaking, yes. Women are more likely to suffer abuse and be the victim in abusive relationships…
…BUT…
Let’s not pretend that female narcissists don’t exist – because they do!
Women can play the card and pretend to be the gentle one. The one who suffers and who is so brave and has all these terrible things happen to her – but this is nothing but a dangerous lie.
No – female narcissists are not victims, but also, by lying that they are, they’re disrespecting real female victims of abuse.
5. The Gut Feeling Something Isn’t Right
There’s always an ‘off’ energy when you’re around somebody that isn’t good for you. I can’t explain it any better than this:
Sometimes, your body reacts to the presence of somebody else before your mind allows you to be aware of it.
That’s what it feels like when you’re around the female narcissist. Niceness seems sweeter than usual, to the point where it unsettles you.
And you’d be a fool to speak up and say something, right? I mean, everybody else seems to like her.
6. Overly Emotional
Emotions in men are naturally more reserved or limited, and narcissistic men will refuse to go to the positive extremes women will.
You might find that narcissistic women are inclined to laugh more, or be excited. They will happily share news and act joyful, like they want everybody to share in their news.
Equally, when it comes to negative emotions, you’ll see tears – and lots of them.
Narcissistic women will cry and cry, and what happens when people cry? They get sympathy! Hugs. A shoulder to cry on. Ears to listen.
They get attention.
That’s what they love to do, and they play on the fact that emotions are seen as easier for women to express.
7. Pettiness
Every tiny little trivial thing will be held up by the female narcissist and waved in your face. Things can get almost spiteful with them, as they concern themselves with whatever doesn’t matter.
It’s a toxic way of trying to find drama where there really is none, and they will do it by involving you as much as they can.
If anything, pettiness is antagonistic, and invokes conflict in people who are otherwise perfectly fine and having a good day.
Narcissists in general are obsessed with detail, and it’s usually the finer details that get picked apart and hung out to dry in this petty, almost childish way.
8. Users? Yes!
Female narcissists will use you until there’s nothing left to extract.
Once this happens, you can kiss goodbye to them because they will move on to their next partner or best friend.
There’s no loyalty, only motive.
9. Sex As a Weapon
Whereas men go for the love-bombing – females use the sex-bombing!
Usually, toxic women will understand what gets male attention, and they revert to this love language to reel them in and keep them hooked over time.
10. Seemingly Shy or Reserved
Ooh, aren’t I sweet?
Don’t I just make you feel all warm inside?
Stop it now please…!
These women are sweet and sickly on purpose.
“If I can be the opposite of what I actually am, then this is how I present my fake charm to the world.”
It’s not all cars, hobbies and compliments like it might be with men.
This is more favors, over-the-top offers for help, or that modest, “Oh gosh, I mean I am just so surprised” act when she wins something or is voted top performer at work.
It’s a classic tool to be seen, noticed, and valued for something they cannot honestly be.
