Ideally, we all want narcissist to wear the T-shirt:

I’m a narcissist, stay away!

Unfortunately, we are merely left with learning the art of narcissism so that we can begin to spot them ourselves, and it passes a lot of people by. 

You’ll notice a lot of information you’ll find out there directly relates to just male narcissists, but I want to change things up a little.

Female narcissists exist, and they work hard to differentiate themselves from the male species.

If you want to be able to spot the top 10 signs of the female narcissist, then I’ve got you covered.

Oh, They Exist Alright…

You think they don’t – but I’m here to tell you that they do…

…I have met more than my fair share!

Knowing The Female Narcissist

Knowing the female narcissist may not come as quickly or naturally to you, and that’s because females tend to be:

• The softer intimacy
• The more understanding
• The more patient
• The more empathic
• The less likely to run on negativity

Generally speaking, females are more seen and known to be the ones who hold everything together, and who are the most at risk for any kind of personal relationship abuse. 

Why They’re Hard To Spot

Well, for those very reasons, female narcissists hide in public.

You can’t pick them out from a crowd, because they work in far more covert ways than their male counterparts. 

10 Female Narcissist Signs

1. They Are Much More Covert

Sly is the middle name of the majority of female narcissists. They’re so good at pretending to be normal, that it’s almost scary.

What differs the most from male narcissists is their ability to be subtle so that they can get further under the skin of their victims and for longer.

Indeed, most people don’t spot covert narcissism for much longer, and sometimes it can take years.

Do you know how much damage a person can do throughout that long, and how much abuse a person can take?

Women play such a sweet, sincere role over their covert narcissism, and you’d be surprised how many people not only believe it, but consider them to be great friends. 

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2. Good At Playing Victim

Often portraying themselves as misunderstood, female narcissists pull out the victim card to gain sympathy from people – either whom they know, or don’t know.

What comes with gaining sympathy? Well, there’s validation, support, and the feeling that you’re ‘seen.’ 

Do you think any narcissist needs more of that?! I don’t! Yet it does come so easy to the toxic females out there, and all of that equates to much needed supply. 

3. They Know Everything

Narcissism is not usually studied by men unless they’re directly affected by somebody who ticks all the boxes.

I’m speaking very generally here, but no man will willingly sit and read or watch something in detail to learn about it unless they have to, or want to. 

Narcissism is known to all – but the twisty, intricate turns the whole personality disorder takes is vastly unknown to them. 

Women on the other hand are known for wanting to clue themselves up on behaviors, emotions and relationships.

They lean more into understanding the difference between men and women, and look for ways to support that. 

Narcissistic Personality Disorder is of huge interest to covert narcissists. If they can study and learn it, they can also learn to beat it and override any suspicion.

This makes it even harder to dig out the female covert narcissists in society!

Doesn’t it make you sick?

4. The Woman Card

I’m a woman, this doesn’t happen because of me – it happens to me!

Well, statistically speaking, yes. Women are more likely to suffer abuse and be the victim in abusive relationships…

…BUT…

Let’s not pretend that female narcissists don’t exist – because they do!

Women can play the card and pretend to be the gentle one. The one who suffers and who is so brave and has all these terrible things happen to her – but this is nothing but a dangerous lie.

No – female narcissists are not victims, but also, by lying that they are, they’re disrespecting real female victims of abuse. 

5. The Gut Feeling Something Isn’t Right

There’s always an ‘off’ energy when you’re around somebody that isn’t good for you. I can’t explain it any better than this:

Sometimes, your body reacts to the presence of somebody else before your mind allows you to be aware of it.

That’s what it feels like when you’re around the female narcissist. Niceness seems sweeter than usual, to the point where it unsettles you.

And you’d be a fool to speak up and say something, right? I mean, everybody else seems to like her.

6. Overly Emotional

Emotions in men are naturally more reserved or limited, and narcissistic men will refuse to go to the positive extremes women will.

You might find that narcissistic women are inclined to laugh more, or be excited. They will happily share news and act joyful, like they want everybody to share in their news. 

Equally, when it comes to negative emotions, you’ll see tears – and lots of them.

Narcissistic women will cry and cry, and what happens when people cry? They get sympathy! Hugs. A shoulder to cry on. Ears to listen. 

They get attention.

That’s what they love to do, and they play on the fact that emotions are seen as easier for women to express.

7. Pettiness

Every tiny little trivial thing will be held up by the female narcissist and waved in your face. Things can get almost spiteful with them, as they concern themselves with whatever doesn’t matter.

It’s a toxic way of trying to find drama where there really is none, and they will do it by involving you as much as they can.

If anything, pettiness is antagonistic, and invokes conflict in people who are otherwise perfectly fine and having a good day. 

Narcissists in general are obsessed with detail, and it’s usually the finer details that get picked apart and hung out to dry in this petty, almost childish way. 

8. Users? Yes!

Female narcissists will use you until there’s nothing left to extract. 

Once this happens, you can kiss goodbye to them because they will move on to their next partner or best friend. 

There’s no loyalty, only motive.

9. Intimacy As a Weapon

Whereas men go for the love-bombing – females use the Intimacy-bombing!

Usually, toxic women will understand what gets male attention, and they revert to this love language to reel them in and keep them hooked over time. 

10. Seemingly Shy or Reserved

Ooh, aren’t I sweet?

Don’t I just make you feel all warm inside?

Stop it now please…!

These women are sweet and sickly on purpose. 

“If I can be the opposite of what I actually am, then this is how I present my fake charm to the world.”

It’s not all cars, hobbies and compliments like it might be with men.

This is more favors, over-the-top offers for help, or that modest, “Oh gosh, I mean I am just so surprised” act when she wins something or is voted top performer at work.

It’s a classic tool to be seen, noticed, and valued for something they cannot honestly be.

5 Fears Narcissists Hide From You

Before we get started, I want you to know that narcissists don’t walk around openly fearing everything.

If they did – they wouldn’t be able to live with themselves.

A big ‘however’ coming up…

However…

Narcissists still fear. They fear, and they loathe, and they hide it all.

Why do they hide it all, Alexander?

Okay. If there’s one thing I’ve learned about narcissists, it’s that they have to hide what they cannot allow anybody to see.

Let me explain a little more deeply…

Narcissists on the Outside

There is a huge bubble of ego around the outside of the narcissist. This ego appears unbreakable but weaker than it looks by far. 

Once you get past that bubble, you’ll see a person living in constant fear. Hard to believe when they’re so tough and full of bravado on the outside, I know.

The trouble is, they’re even more terrified than you could ever imagine, and it’s all because they can’t stand showing it to the world.

They don’t want to, and they won’t. 

As Fragile as Can Be

The fragility of a narcissist is never up for debate. It’s there, and it holds onto their fears far more than you’d imagine.

Narcissists feel shame surrounding their fears, which to me just seems incomprehensible. It’s human nature to be scared sometimes, or to fear something huge happening in your life.

People can be known to sidestep something, just so they don’t have to face their fears.

Narcissists won’t admit what they fear secretly, so you never know when they’re doing that sidestepping. 

Why Hide?

Well, simply put, it’s better to hide and pretend to be strong than to expose and reveal weakness. 

The narcissist lives by their sword, and will die by their sword. Expect nothing else. 

The Fears of the Narcissist – 5 Fears They Hide From You

Buckle up – because these fears are all designed to expose the narcissist’s real character.

#1 Failure

Narcissists hate failure. They hate failing, and they hate you failing.

Failing to please them.

Failing to give them any attention.

Failing an exam.

They will remind you of your failures for a long time because they love you to know that you can’t do it all and aren’t perfect like them. 

When a narcissist fails – it’s the end of the world. You know, sometimes they do. They don’t get the job they wanted, or they don’t pass that test. 

They will act like it doesn’t matter, or that it was the fault of the person interviewing or testing them, but in reality, they’re terrified.

They fear why they lost, and the idea that they didn’t do or say something right in order to get over that line of success.

They fear it so badly because they fear not appearing or being good enough. It’s why they constantly overcompensate by always trying to be the best of the best.

If everybody sees that version of them, nobody would be able to get close to those inner fears, right?

#2 Being Outed as a Narcissist

Being outed as a narcissist is a huge fear for them. 

I want to start by saying that there will always be a way out for them. If they’re accused of the very thing they are, they will blame you, smear your name to others; punish you in as many ways as possible. 

Denial is their middle name.

However…

…Everything changes for the narcissist as soon as you figure out the person they truly are. When you uncover their moods and begin to stand up to their unforgiving behavior, you are letting them know one thing:

You know. And nothing is going to be the same from now on.

What does that look like to the narcissist?

Well, nothing being the same means the narcissist can no longer manipulate you.

They were used to pushing and pulling you like the tide. Their control over you became something you begrudged them over time, but it was something you learned to silently accept. 

I’ve lost count of the amount of people who have told me that as soon as they outed the narcissist in their life, nothing was the same again.

The narcissist fears this. They have a unique system, and the supply they need from others is drawn from certain people at certain times. It’s how they function, and they get used to that. 

Their fear is having all of that stripped from them. They fear that dynamics will shift because they don’t know where or how they’ll be able to replace it.

#3 Rejection

Narcissists live the kind of life that you would assume has zero room for fear. They exude confidence (too much most of the time).

They love to show off and brag about what they have, where they’re going on vacation, how much this or that cost…

Narcissists love to be accepted. They want to feel part of something so that eventually, they can dominate. If they can get a foot in the door, the rest is history.

Rejection does happen to narcissists. When it does, you see a side of them that you never thought you’d see. They can cover up their fear with anger, or rage, or even laugh it off like it means nothing.

Only you, the narcissist expert, can tell something has annoyed them. 

The fear of rejection comes from the innate entitlement that they must have everything.

They have to succeed, they have to be loved and admired by everybody, and nobody can let them down or reject them.

If they do, it will only fuel their inner fires of insecurity—and believe me, that fire is huge. 

#4 Losing

If a narcissist loses, you will see a spoiled child appear before you. They can throw tantrums, they can go off sulking, they can ignore you. 

When they do, it isn’t because they are simply’ a little immature.’ It’s so much more.

This is about their perfect image being shattered, especially in front of others. They may be getting laughed at or mocked when usually they do it to everybody else. 

When the shoe is on the other foot, they fear that the perfection they portray will be seen as nothing but an illusion. 

#5 You Leaving

If you leave, what does that tell the narcissist?

It tells you that you’re strong enough to walk away. It gives the message that you refuse to be caught up in this cycle of abuse a moment longer. It also tells them that you don’t want to be with them.

And that?

Well, that is seen as a huge worry for them. They almost fear your lack of supply as much as you being okay without them. If the one person who said they loved them doesn’t need them, then what hope is there?

Of course, they will never tell you they fear you leaving. The bravado will paint quite the opposite picture.

But when you do … you’ll know about it. 

What Eventually Happens To Narcissists?

How Does it End For Narcissists?

Narcissists are like a really painful, long book that you have to read to understand. They don’t come with an index or bullet points. If they did, half their toxicity would fall through the cracks.

Sadly, people like you or I must experience them fully before we know each trick.

If I can offer you one fragment of light at the end of this treacherous tunnel – it’s this:

What happens to narcissists is an ending that you’re going to want to hang on for.

Let’s get into it.

“Look At Them!”

It’s enough to make you sick, isn’t it?

They live their merry little lives, seemingly getting away with anything and everything, making you want to scream from the rooftops.

Yes – it’s unfair. 

You wish they would just crumble and fall down, so you could finally see them suffer as much as they made you suffer. 

You want what happens to them to be detrimental to everything they pretend to be. 

Does The Tide Ever Turn?

What do you think? I mean, I want to be able to tell you that they do indeed turn honestly.

I also know and appreciate how it really doesn’t feel that way at the time. Constantly waiting for them to taste their own medicine can feel like waiting for rain in a drought.

But I am here to say that, yes, eventually, that rain will come.

And it will feel amazing.

The Beauty of Karma

I don’t like to meddle with Karma. Instead, I trust that everything will work exactly how it should.

Sometimes we win, sometimes we lose. The circle of life appreciates both good and bad happenings, and I am certain that includes narcissists and how they treat others. 

Karma doesn’t need you stepping in and taking over, so if you ever try to gain justice from a situation involving a narcissist, you’re likely to lose. 

Rather than that – it’s nothing but a waiting game. 

But a game you’ll definitely not want to quit.

How Does It End For Them?

No narcissist has a really happy ending. 

Ultimately, they go home alone every day, even if they go home to somebody. 

Narcissists always want to be part of something, yet never feel part of anything. It’s all empty. It’s all meaningless. They don’t have layers to them or an ounce of appreciation for their family or friends. 

That alone should tell you how it ends for every narcissist. 

They’re nothing but lonely people craving some kind of something. 

That is something they never end up getting.

#1 The Slipping of the Mask

You may have to wait a while, but the mask of a narcissist will always, I repeat, always slip off.

I know you think it can’t happen soon enough, and many of you will be screaming for it to be today—but it doesn’t work that way.

In fact, the more you try to rush the mask’s slipping, the crazier you will look.

If you want to allow their true selves to unfold naturally, you’ll have to wait for the day.

#2 Inability to Keep Up With Their Lies

We all know that lying can lead to serious trouble. Not only do you have to remember this, but you may also have to build potential lies around it so they make sense. 

Narcissists are great at lying, but they can do it so frequently that they fail to recall them all.

When you see a narcissist caught in a lie trap, they will fluff and fumble their way out as best they can with the charm they were born with. 

I want to remind you, though – the lies do catch up with them eventually.

Lies catch up with everybody. 

#3 One Small Mistake

This is all it takes, believe me. One tiny little slip up to get people talking is all it takes. 

I once knew a narcissist professionally who never took any accountability for his mistakes.

He used to cover up all his mistakes, blaming others or deleting evidence that he was responsible. 

One day, he was caught in the act. He had no defense, and even though he got really angry and tried to blame somebody else, it was clear he was to blame. 

His mistake was leaving his work pass in the room where he shredded all the information he wanted to discard. 

It’s all it took for the dominos to all fall down, and for the past to come together like a jigsaw puzzle. People saw what he was like, and nobody trusted him again. 

#4 Time Will Tell

You’re all familiar with the saying, ‘Time will heal.’ It helps if you are going through hard times or have lost somebody close to you. 

Time also heals your own heart as it allows narcissists to be revealed for who they really are.

As much as it will cause chaos, it will be healing to be validated by the entire event. 

It’s how so many victims breathe a sigh of relief and say, “Thank goodness everybody can now see them for who they truly are.”

Time will give you that. You just have to wait for it. 

#5 They Won’t Hesitate To Move!

Narcissists are renowned for moving. 

To start again, if things get too heated where they live,

Looking for work in a new city or town for a ‘fresh start.’

Usually, when they run everybody else down or play them all in their games, they run out of people.

They run out of supply.

So what do they do?

They run away.

It won’t end there, though. Moving anywhere new only restarts the whole process.

Narcissists, for that reason, never really admit to having somewhere to call home.

#6 New Friends

Of course, moving anywhere means starting up a new friendship circle. People will mingle and meet with everybody, as all new people are considered to be fresh pawns in their game. 

Friends end up being enemies before long…

In The End

You can wait and wait, but eventually, the narcissist will get their comeuppance.

In one way or another, whether being found out, having their mask slip, or having to keep bouncing from town to city to stay relevant or liked.

Please allow that to be the justice you need, because it is.

Narcissists will always be miserable. They hate being stuck or figured out, so they must constantly work out their plan to keep their true selves a secret.

Isn’t that the end you want to hear about?

I know it is for me.