The refusal to answer a question can be frustrating. You have a query, you want to know what the narcissist thinks of it, you get rebuffed.
It’s common. And don’t get me wrong, it’s like traveling around in circles, wasting precious energy trying to find out.
So what do you do?
Well, that’s not the narcissist’s problem.
There are specific questions a narcissist will refuse to talk with you about.
Sadly, most of them make up things that are really important to you.
Here are the top 10 they will absolutely avoid at all costs.
Cornering the Narcissist
No narcissist likes to feel cornered, and that’s the crux of my message.
If you ask them something they don’t want to answer, they’ll outright refuse on the grounds that the answer would reveal who they really are.
“I Have a Question For You”
…Watch the narcissist run and hide! They don’t want to hear your questions!
They will leave town before they give you the honest answer you deserve.
10 Questions Refuse to Answer
#1 “What Were You Doing Out So Late?”
They said they’d be back by 7, and it’s now 10:05.
You have a right to ask, because anything could have happened, right?
Well, when you ask them this, they will feel as though they’re being interrogated.
They owe you an explanation for going off grid for those few hours, and if they can’t answer, they obviously don’t know how to be honest.
Take that for exactly what it is.
#2 “Do You Really Love Me?”
Ouch. You’re not going to like it, because what they say and how they react physically will be two different things.
They might say they do, or even reverie it back to you in total shock.
Why ask that? What sort of question is this? Why do you always look for reassurance?
It’ll be your fault, no doubt about that.
But beyond that – will be their actions.
And their actions are going to not be that of love or care or consideration of loyalty.
So yes – you ask because you’re confused, but the narcissist is going to do all they can to avoid one thing:
They don’t love you. They just need you around.
#3 When Can We Go Away?
Soon.
I don’t know.
When I am free.
When we can afford to.
I’ll get back to you.
Who knows?
Oh, the excuses will keep coming, but the question will never properly be answered.
Why?
Because they know they aren’t going anywhere with you. They will just keep ensuring you ask, and they will keep refusing to give you a straight answer.
#4 Why Are You In a Bad Mood?
Well, your first mistake would be assuming that the narcissist is in an actual bad mood.
How dare you assume they are anything other than perfect?
Bad moods happen to us all. If a narcissist were to ever admit they have periods of real rage or anger, they’re lining themselves up to take the blame for future bouts of conflict or arguments.
They WILL NOT OPENLY DO THIS!
Now what you have on your hands is somebody who, no matter how bad things get, will never be able to tell you why they’re in such a mood.
I’ll tell you why though, just to help you.
They’re in a bad mood because they want a little attention. They want to stir the pot. They’re bored, and they see their mood as a way into making other people react and respond in ways that it can be their fault.
I hope that clarifies things for you.
#5 What Did I Do Wrong?
Telling you what you did wrong isn’t going to happen. In the moment, yes, they will blame you.
Wait until things calm down, and you’re both in a place where you can talk calmly? My goodness. You’ll get a person who simply doesn’t know what to say. You will catch them off-guard, and they won’t be able to give you a straight answer.
#6 What Do You Get From Me Being in Your Life?
Narcissists want you around because your supply is good for them. They love knowing they can control and manipulate you, and if you want them to be totally honest – they enjoy your presence for those reasons only.
What they get from you being in their life is never going to be conveyed to you.
The narcissist is going to refuse to answer any of it, because they can’t tell you the truth.
You might think they love you being in their life because they enjoy your company and get along with you.
There may be brief moments where you do get along, but don’t doubt for a second that it’s anything other than your supply.
#7 What Do You Love About Me?
It’s a fact that all narcissists don’t know how to love. That doesn’t mean they can’t say those words.
I love you, you know that.
Do you? Okay… Dig a little deeper.
What exactly do you love about me?
Silence.
Oh, come on! If you need me to tell you then perhaps I should be asking you what you love about me!
Furthermore, the narcissist, like all narcissists, isn’t going to tell you they love you and shower you with compliments to reassure you.
It’s you who should be complimenting them.
#8 How Come You Couldn’t Manage to Do That Properly?
Could you picture the narcissist telling you why they weren’t perfect for a second?
I mean, really imagine it – because I cannot!
Narcissists aren’t built to be imperfect, but mostly, they aren’t designed to admit to being so.
They would sooner refuse to answer your question that tell you how they’re just not quite up to the task.
#9 When Will You Do What You Said You Would?
In short – the narcissist isn’t going to do it. They don’t want to. They can’t be bothered. They don’t work for you.
Blah blah…
Okay, so they made you a promise. That means nothing, and the narcissist is going to ignore or divert away from your question to avoid their responsibilities.
#10 Why Do You Go Silent?
This is a great final example.
Calling the narcissist out on their silent treatment as if they’re going to suddenly admit to doing it is going to be extremely challenging for them.
Let’s start with the fact that they don’t want to tell you why they manipulate you this way – they just want to do it. You don’t get to ask why. You’re not the one in charge, and you’re already leagues below them anyway.
You know, sometimes it’s hard writing about narcissists because I make them sound so mean…
…That is until I realize they do that all by themselves, and I’m just giving you an honest account of their character!
