“Hey. There’s something I need to tell you, but you can’t tell anybody.”
“Sure, go ahead.”
“You promise?”
“Hand on heart.”
Stop there!
Not another word!
You’ve been promised, but the narcissist isn’t going to keep to it.
Why?
Because they can’t.
There are so many promises a narcissist can’t keep, but these 10 aim to deliver you a lesson in what not to discuss with the narcissist in your life.
Prepare yourself!
Believing the Narcissist: The Risks
I know what you’re thinking, because I’ve seen it before in others.
You want to believe the narcissist. They seem so genuine, don’t they?
Everything they’re saying is said with such determination for you to accept it as truth
Promises are made, and you walk away remembering it…
…While the narcissist forgets.
Believing the narcissist comes with its risks, believe me.
You’ll run yourself into the ground before you can fully rely on them to be honest with you.
Your Heart Stays Hopeful
- You love them, so they will produce their promise soon.
- You believe in the best of people. You don’t like giving up on those who need you.
- They act so nice to you at the time. Their promises make you cling to hope.
- You hope to see the promise come around. All you seem to do is hope.
10 Promises Narcissists Never Keep
#1 Promises of Marriage
One day, you and I are going to get married.
It’ll be the biggest wedding you’ve ever known.
I am going to pull out all the stops for you.
You deserve the day of dreams.
You’re the one I want to spend forever with.
I can’t wait to call you my husband/wife.
Okay, I could go on forever. The idea of marriage pleases the narcissist only because it pleases you. They hold onto that promise to hold onto your face everytime they raise the subject.
If you’re having a bad day, they will talk about it to boost your happiness.
Does it ever happen? Do you ever get married?
You know – in some cases – engagement can occur. Sometimes even weddings. They’re never what they were promised to be. They’re also always at the point where you have gotten to know the person behind the mask a little better, too.
Mostly though – no. It’s all future faking.
#2 “We Can Go This Weekend”
When you ask to go somewhere you really want to go, and you can’t wait to take that trip – the narcissist will back up your excitement by promising to be the one to take you.
They want to share the moment with you, and they can’t wait to spend time with you.
Won’t it be lovely?
Well, yes. It would be even more lovely if they actually kept to their word.
Promises like this are only meant to temporarily make you feel good. Ultimately, you’ll be let down and it won’t matter.
#3 “One Day…”
One day this.
One day that.
One day won’t it all be perfect.
Well, let me tell you, that day never comes.
You’re never going to get it because it was all a promise intended to keep you quiet for the present moment.
You want to believe, and you want to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
In fact – that tunnel is never ending. The only way you can see the light is if you see the lies behind the promises.
#4 “I’ll Change”
I’ll change, I promise.
I’ll do better.
I will make sure I try to make you happier.
I promise I won’t get angry.
I will work on improving my patience.
Narcissists are very good at promising they will change their behavior. They want you to know they will actively try to improve the way they treat you, so you know their intentions are good and noble.
They’re not!
No narcissist knows how to change. They don’t even know what they’re changing from, because to them, they’re already perfect. You aren’t going to persuade any of them to be more like you think they ought to be. Why? Because they owe you nothing.
Nothing but fake promises…
#5 “We Will Do More Together”
When you feel the narcissist has been letting you down once too often, you will want to ask them to spend more time with you.
I miss you. You work too much.
I never get to see you.
I wish we could do this or that.
It will be promised, just to keep you happy in that moment.
But don’t expect it’s going to last or even come to fruition. Narcissists see your disappointment and use the chance to vocally pacify you.
Those who get caught up in the constant cycle of abuse will buy it all, too.
#6 “I Promise I’ll Be There”
Narcissists promise they will show their faces when it matters to you.
Do they?
Well, you’ll be lucky if they showed at all. Sometimes they may be late, and huff and puff all the while they’re actually there.
Most times, they will make a poor excuse and fail to show up at all.
Narcissists never fully show up for you.
#7 “I’ll Get That Done At The Weekend”
And guess what? The weekend came and went and you’re still waiting.
Of course, something came up. They got busy. They hurt their backs. The weather was too bad for it.
If a person wants to do something, they will.
If they don’t, they won’t.
It is literally that simple.
#8 “I Won’t Forget”
If it’s important to you, it shouldn’t escape the mind of a narcissist. Whether you want to go for dinner and ask them to book a table, or book that day off to spend together for your anniversary. You have to ask them. And ask. And ask again.
It’s disheartening to feel like you don’t matter, and believe me, I see so many people who understand what this really feels like.
You give your everything to a person, only for them to continuously let you down.
#9 “I’d Never Cheat On You”
Wrong.
Narcissists cheat and lie for a living.
Cheating isn’t okay, but narcissists can’t possibly promise you that they would never do that, because the fact is, they can, and they do.
Promising you that their world is exclusively for you isn’t going to be enough for them in the long run, and they know it.
#10 “I Promise, I Love You”
What is love? Well, you know. Of course you do.
The narcissist has no idea.
They only know what they think love should be, and they try to execute that in public.
Love isn’t spending lots of money, or making your spouse feel terrible. It isn’t’ abuse or mistreatment.
When a narcissist promises that they love you, you begin to think that love equates to abuse.
This is wrong. When it gets to this point – it’s time to leave.
