Although narcissists are obsessed with the price tag of everything, what isn’t talked about enough is the pricelessness of what they can steal from you.
And when I say steal, I mean you never get it back.
So what kinds of things am I talking about? The kinds of things you value (or should value) about your life.
Here are those 12 things they steal from you.
#1 Time
Time is precious, and I know we all value it. What’s important to remember is that you can’t get it back.
That being said, there’s little point in dwelling over something you can’t control, right? If time were able to be brought back, then we could probably pay it a little more attention.
That’s why it matters how you spend it so much, and when it comes to narcissists, victims spend so much time trying to feel loved, be loved, be noticed, and feel like they’re wanted.
Narcissists will steal it, making you miserable and feel pain, and that’s why it’s hard to say goodbye to so much of it under their control.
#2 Self-belief
Your self-belief is the part of you that carries your dreams, no matter how big, and turns them into reality. You go from “I want,” to “I’m going to get,” to, “I’ve got.”
That can be anything from the job of your dreams, to the vacation you feel you deserve, or how much you believe you are skilled or able enough to try something new.
When a narcissist chips away at your identity, they take away your self-belief, making you think you aren’t as clever as you think.
Let me tell you; it’s what they do. They aren’t basing their words on anything concrete, just the motive they have to take away that spark about you.
#3 Confidence
You’re in a room full of people, and it’s your turn to speak. You’re worried that somebody will judge you, or laugh at you, or criticize you in some way.
Where has this come from? It’s usually rooted in some kind of situation where you’ve been made to feel acutely self-aware for no reason at all.
You judge yourself before you’ve even done something. That comes from a lack of confidence that can often stop you from doing something you want to do, or once perhaps did do.
It’s hard to get that confidence back, especially in the way you once had it before you met the narcissist.
#4 Self-worth
How much do you value yourself? Those with low self-worth will never put themselves first.
They won’t do things they need to do in order to protect their wellbeing, mental health, or physical health.
They instead look to please others, namely their abuser. Is that something you have experience in? I wonder if the narcissist in your life has taken parts of you that you can’t get back that you miss.
Let me take this opportunity to remind you that you are worth it.
The worth inside you can make good choices, but those choices won’t rise up if you have gotten used to pushing them down and ignoring them.
#5 Self-love
Love yourself first, then love others. Those who can’t do that, will never be able to love properly, and that is often the case when victims meet narcissists.
They’ve usually spent a lot of time trying to make sure everybody else is happy, they forget who they are and what’s important to them.
Self-love starts with you, and it certainly ends with you.
When it’s stolen from you, it’s replaced with self-hate, self-doubt, self-criticism. This is exactly what the narcissist wants, and every time you believe them, you believe that about yourself.
#6 Fearlessness
Once upon a time, you would have been a person who feared nothing, and stood by everything you believed in.
You’d have taken risks, jumped at the chance of an opportunity, and not cowered once to “what could go wrong.”
Now? Now you’ve been conditioned to see what could go wrong in everything because your light has been stolen from you.
The worst part is, even when you work hard to get that back during your healing journey, there will always be a part of you on edge, waiting for something bad to happen.
This is because narcissists are so good at ruining your best moments, stealing your success, sabotaging the days you should be celebrating, and creating drama.
They love it when your plans don’t work out, because then they can watch you crawl back into your shell of fear and isolation and feel they’ve got the power to have made that happen.
What you once loved doing, you fear when you are around narcissists, and that is fuelled by how small they can make you feel, too.
#7 Energy
Totally sapping, right? I hear you. I’ve seen it, and I’ve felt it myself, too. You can go into a meeting or situation with a narcissist on 98% life battery, and come out of it a mere ten minutes later with a crippling 8% left.
They take it, but not only do they take it, they use it to fuel themselves. “But it’s my energy!”
I hear that, too. It is yours, and nobody else has the right to it, least of all for negative intentions. But we are talking about narcissists, here.
They aren’t thinking twice about how their theft of your energy affects you. They just want it for themselves.
They can do this by tossing your emotions around like ragdolls. They even hit you with such force of character that you cannot help but feel on edge whenever you’re around them.
The body reacts crazily, putting you on guard, which of course, burns your energy up like kindling.
But it’s more precious than that, isn’t it? Your energy is priceless, and they won’t (they can’t) ever give it back. Once it’s gone, it’s you who needs to refuel, while they get off on stealing yours for free.
#8 Your light
The big one, and the main reason so many of you have to enter therapy, or heal, or reach out to pages like this for advice and to know you aren’t alone.
Your light is yours. Because you own it, the narcissist wants it. This is a violation of your boundaries, as well as unfiltered theft to the highest degree.
Narcissists don’t have light. They don’t have auras. They don’t have positive, radiating energy.
The only way they get it is by finding the people who have the most 0 like you – and stealing it from them.
And it’s true what they say: narcissists don’t care how long this takes. If it means taking little by little over a number of years, this is what they will do.
And they don’t return it, either. So you’re left in darkness, and it’s down to you to replace that light with new light.
Impossible all the while you surround yourself with these types of people; which is why you need to leave as soon as you can.
Well, if I’m wishing for anything, it’s that you don’t even go near them in the first place!
