Good morning!

How are you?

Did you sleep well?

If you are with a narcissist, the chances are, you always sleep with one eye open. What will they say or do next to get under your skin? How will they blame you today?

Narcissists reveal themselves a lot of the time. They’d like to think they’re perfect, sure. 

But they’re not.

When they slip up – you will see them finally for who they are. And you know when some of the best times to witness this revelation?

The morning!

Barely awake, with not all guards up – you can spot them a mile off.

And here’s how!

Why Morning? Routine!

Joining the dots is the best way to understand the narcissist’s obsession with their morning routine, and we start with cycles.

The cycle of each morning rolling into a new day is a cycle the narcissist loves to know is coming.

They know what to expect, they have their habits within reach. It’s all there. But where does it come from?

For a start, let’s pull apart the word cycle. Narcissists abuse their victims and follow the cycle of abuse that allows for that. 

I love you, you’re amazing.

Whatever.

I’m done here.

I’m sorry.

That’s pretty much the cycle of every narcissistic relationship until it ends, but that cycle is familiar. That’s what the narcissist likes.

That’s why they are big creatures of habit. 

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Keeping Your Eyes Peeled

If you’re unsure whether or not the person you’re with is a narcissist, I ask you to open your eyes.

Watch what’s going on, and how they act. Does their behavior make you feel good, or not?

Have you changed as a person since you met them? Do you see less of your friends and family? How’s your self-esteem and confidence doing?

Keeping your eyes peeled for potential narcissistic traits can help you answer these questions, and it all starts first thing in the morning. 

10 Morning Habits: Watch Out!

#1 Rigid Routine

Narcissists love a rigid routine because it means they don’t necessarily have to predict what’s going to happen.

They like to have their morning planned to the tee, so nothing can go wrong to put a downer on the rest of their day.

The routine of the narcissist is likely to be something nothing and nobody will or would interfere with. That’s when you will start to see the fiery, unforgiving side of a narcissist. 

And of course – you will totally be at fault.

#2 Not Liking To Be Bothered

Waking up and starting your day can be a longer process for some than others, and not everybody likes to be bothered first thing.

Narcissists take this to a whole new level. If they are busy preparing their ego and image for the day and you step in with an emergency, request or general conversation, you will hear about it. 

Can’t you see I’m getting ready?

How would you like it if I interrupted you getting ready?

Prepare for the wrath.

#3 Ignoring You

As far as  the narcissist is concerned, who says they have to talk to you?!

It’s pretty rude if you live or work with somebody like this, but they will give their game away quickly if they act like this toward you.

Again – not every person is a morning person, and I know I can wake up a little grumpy if my sleep wasn’t so good.

This is a different story altogether, and something you should be moderately ready for. 

#4 Focusing On Their Day

Narcissists want every day to be perfect. If you try to come between that idea, you’ll pay the emotional fine. 

It’s costly being around somebody so draining, and their toxicity will rinse you of any joy.

However – it’s incredibly revealing to see somebody so intent on focusing on themselves and not at least pay your day a little attention.

If you have an important meeting, or a job interview you’ve been preparing for, it’s nice to chat about it, or be wished good luck.

But with narcissists – it’s never about you. 

Not ever. 

#5 Building Their Image

What can I do to be the best I possibly can be today?

How can I fool everybody else?

In what ways am I able to look better than those around me?

How can I impress people?

All these questions are subconsciously circling around the mind of a narcissist as their day begins.

Who will they see that day? How can they present? What can they do to gain even more attention or respect from others?

The image is the most important aspect of a narcissist. Without it, they’re just people nobody looks at or notices. 

#6 Silent Treatment

If you are given the silent treatment each morning, you’ll likely hear excuses like:

I am tired.

I’ve got a long day ahead of me.

I’m just trying to get ready.

Why do you keep bothering me when I am eating my breakfast?

You know I have a lot to plan for the day. 

It’s somehow your fault, but the silent treatment will follow…

…And it’s regular. 

#7 Probing You For Answers

What are your plans for the day?

Who are you seeing?

What hours are you working?

Do you need to go to the store after work?

Will you be late home?

Shall we meet for lunch?

These aren’t questions from somebody caring or interested – they instead want to map out your day so they know exactly where you will be when you say you’ll be there. 

This is all about control, and they will do it every morning. 

#8 Making Empty Promises

I would love to go out with you after work tonight.

Shall I book a table?

I can’t wait to call and at lunch and catch up.

Promises like this each morning keep you happy for the day, and leave you with one hand on your phone ready for that call. 

Except it doesn’t come. They make excuses. And they’re always too busy or tired to go out. Maybe they deny even offering to do so. 

#9 Lazy? A Possibility!

If you dare have a day off, or without much planned, prepare to be called out for it.

As the narcissist frantically gets busy for their day, your day is going to look a lot less chaotic.

And believe me when I say you’ll be made to feel bad for it!

#10 Reinforcing Their Role

Well, looks like I’m set for another day of making money.

Those bills aren’t going to pay for themselves.

It’s a good job somebody who lives here is loyal to their responsibilities.

I suppose you’ll just be doing nothing all day?

I don’t expect you to wait up for me. I’ve got a busy day today. 

Again – these comments are riddled with guilt and are designed to set your tone for the day. 

Don’t you think it’s time you set your own tone?

You…

You should never sit in the seat of certainty when it comes to any narcissist. You will never be there for long, because you were instead destined for confusion.

Narcissists think and act differently, depending on their mood that day. If they feel like it, they will be nice.

If they’re nice, it’ll be because they want something from you.

If they’re not nice, it’s because they need your supply. They like to see you suffer.

Knowing what they really think about you will give you an idea of their true character…

…And it’s not good.

#1 You Think You Know Them?

Nobody ever really knows the narcissist. The only person who knows them is them. 

I don’t think it’s ever really wise to assume you know everything there is to know about somebody so toxic.

After all, they love to change the goalposts so much that as soon as you feel you have them pegged, they change and shift the tides to suit themselves.

The same can be said for what they really think about you.

#2 Living Your Best Life, Until…

They come along!

It’s the same with all narcissists. You’re happy until you realize what you’ve gotten yourself into. 

Isn’t it a shame to think that the narcissist, somebody who claims to have your best interests at heart, treats you the way they do?

How can somebody who says such loving things never ever prove that love in any healthy way at all?

#3 Underneath Their Act Lies Jealousy

It’s okay to be a little envious in life. It’s a natural response to somebody having what you would love to have.

For example, your friend could have bought themselves a new holiday cabin with a view.

Darn. I would love that. I am so envious you get to go there!

That’s where it ends, though, right?

I mean – you have a choice. You can work hard to earn the money for one. You can ask to stay there if you paid your way for the week.

Narcissists don’t get envious – they rage with jealousy.

They detest all the good in the lives of others and will resent you for what you have.

Is that normal?

Nope!

Is that right?

Absolutely not!

#4 “Look At You, All Happy. That’ll Have To Stop…”

They hate your happiness. It acts like a plague on them. They want to cut it off as quickly as they can, so they’ll do what it takes to ensure any joy is fleeting.

How dare they smile and have things go their way?!

The confusing part for you is that you think they love you. You automatically think they’ll be happy when you receive good news, but it couldn’t be further from the truth. 

Any happiness is bound to come from something or somebody other than them. That’s a major threat. How could you allow that?!

Derailing your happiness can take various forms: mocking you until you stop, criticizing you until you no longer believe in yourself, or shaming you until guilt about your own happiness eats you up. 

I could go on forever. 

Imagine being around somebody who loathes seeing you content that much.

#5 “I Can Get Away With Anything!”

Forgiveness is an act undertaken by people who can see the bigger picture. They want peace and understand that people make mistakes. 

Asking for forgiveness can alter how you view your mistakes if that forgiveness will be abused later on. 

Those genuine in being sorry know they will not repeat what they did to hurt the other person. That’s how it generally goes, right?

Narcissists don’t care. They truly don’t. They will repeatedly offend, time and time again. 

They know they’ve got several love-bombing tricks up their sleeves that have proven very efficient. 

There’s no reason why those things won’t work all over again.

And you know what? All the while you continue to forgive, they will continue to offend. 

#6 They Don’t Love You

I know it’s a tough pill to swallow. Knowing you aren’t loved takes a lot of hard work because, for the most part, you feel in complete denial. 

Of course, they love me. They tell me they do.

I know they love me. They wouldn’t have taken me on that expensive trip if they didn’t. 

You learn the value of love to only be at the currency the narcissist sets.

Love isn’t a currency. It doesn’t ebb or flow. It remains. 

I know it’s hard to admit to be true. All that emotional work you put into the relationship. All the ways you were vulnerable and shared your life with them. 

I speak truthfully when I tell you it was all a ploy to get you to play their game. 

#7 Threatened By Your Success…

If a narcissist sees your success, they’re going to want and need to put a stop to it immediately. 

Your success can be compared to a competition you don’t even realize you’re in. You’re exceeding, and the judges have their eye on you.

Only the narcissist is also taking part, and the judges aren’t even looking their way at all. 

The anger. The resentment. The envy. It will all spill over the surface.

So, what does the narcissist do? When nobody is watching, they will sabotage what you are making or creating so that you fall down in the competition rankings. They may even steal what you have and use it for themselves.

That’ll get them noticed!

They can’t stand to see you getting the attention. To them, you don’t deserve happiness because it isn’t something they’re personally gaining for themselves. 

What a dangerous and toxic trait to have, right?

Well… welcome to the world of narcissists.

#8 …Pleased When You Fail!

The party poppers would be popping constantly if the narcissist had their way. When you fail, it’s not something they necessarily or overtly laugh about (although that can happen).

Instead, they will quietly smirk in the corner of a darkened room. They don’t want others to see their joy, but that won’t stop them from feeling it.

You’d think somebody who claimed to care about you would be falling over themselves with concern if you are down, sad, failing, or having a terrible day.

Nope.

Narcissists love it. They love seeing you fall because when you do, you land at the bottom of the heap, exactly where the narcissist resides. 

Knowing they have company makes them feel better, and seeing your misery or disappointment will ensure a huge grin is plastered all over their faces—difficult to wipe off.