The familiar ringing in your ears of the news that the narcissist has been talking about you again.
They’ve somehow managed to paint a picture that doesn’t even come close to resembling you.
You’re unstable, cruel and difficult. This is a version of you totally fabricated, yet believed by people you thought knew you better.
How far will they go to ruin your reputation? This is why lies are spread about you by them, and I want to focus on the 10 most prolific lies you’ll hear.
It’s time to realize that their discredit of you is their latest power move.
#1 You Were Mentally Unwell
Why is it that you are the one who is advertised as being unhinged? The short answer is because it’s either you or the narcissist, so it’s you who gets thrown to the wolves.
Not only are you unhinged, but you overreact to everything. Your emotions are volatile. You can’t keep yourself regulated.
The narcissist gaslights everybody, and that includes all those in your social circle.
Was it not enough that they made you question yourself? Now it’s everybody else being recruited to question you, too, and it seems like there’s no escape.
She isn’t well.
He needs to see a doctor.
You’re that person everybody is looking at differently.
#2 You Had an Obsession With Them
Here we go. The obsession will fabricate, grow, and become convincing for everybody.
This is exactly how the narcissist loves to operate. Think about it; you have been nothing but totally reasonable throughout your time together,
but your goodness has been reframed as terrible behavior, and you are silenced through their lies before you even had a chance to defend yourself.
If only they’d let go.
They don’t stop calling and texting.
I wish they would just give me some space.
They clearly don’t have any boundaries.
And you’re a stalker. You’re obsessed. Behind your back, you are a loose canon, and should be avoided.
#3 You Lied for a Living
In a cruel twist of fate, a narcissist will turn around their lies to be your fault.
You were the one who made everything up. They will convince others to not trust you, and people will believe that; distancing themselves from you in order to feel safe.
What does that mean? You’re isolated and alone, and have nobody around you to confide in.
What does this do to you long term? It balances out what you say that really happened.
You’ll beg people to believe you, and the abuse, but they won’t. They already made their mind up when the narcissist lied about you – and accused you of being the liar.
#4 You Were the One Who Caused the Drama
I couldn’t get a moment of rest with them.
Every day was like living in a soap opera!
They were so impossible to please!
No, I’m not talking about the narcissist, even though it would make perfect sense if I was.
When you were devoted all that time, and gave the relationship your everything, the narcissist manages to frame you as the person who was chaotic and who loved drama.
They will feign exhaustion, claiming that not a day could go by where you didn’t stir the pot.
This is a complete role reversal of what actually happened, and only you will know it.
It was the narcissist who was never satisfied, but somehow through their manipulation, they’ve managed to come out looking like the victim.
#5 You Were Not Loyal
I know. The narcissist has a strong level of audacity here by calling you disloyal, when all you did was try your hardest to make the relationship work.
Every behavior the narcissist describes about you is pretty much everything they’re describing about themselves.
It’s infuriating, and as they project their own character into the world via you, you’re left feeling as though your entire credibility is destroyed.
It’s trapping, I get it. People who are victims to this feel trapped, because they’re left trying to prove their worth and loyalty, but it can feel like your words are falling on deaf ears.
#6 There Was Always a Problem With You
The whispers start, and your family hears it all. You’ve been troublesome for years, not only that but also that you’re troubled.
There was always something about them.
They were just so difficult to be with.
Their attitude stank.
This dismantling of your reputation is uncalled for, but they will make sure they do it in every circle you operate.
Each lie that’s told is another point for them, and another reason why people will start to no longer speak with you.
It’s also a truth about them, that they’re trying to dig deep and keep hidden from everybody.
You are the only person who knows the real story.
#7 You Needed Constant Financial Support
They were always asking for money.
I was nothing but a bank to them.
Lies. You were told not to work and stay home to look after the house and potentially children, too.
Now the narcissist is painting you as lazy and incapable of earning your crust, and making you look bad in the process.
It’s not that you needed financial support, but the narcissist has made you look like you were only with them because they were a commodity.
If anything, I’d say it was the other way around!
#8 You Were Jealous
Come off it! You weren’t jealous, yet this is you now, and that’s going to be what people believe about you.
The truth is, the narcissist was the jealous one. Constantly tracking you, asking where you were going, and who with.
The control they had over you was insane, and you tolerated it because you just wanted a life of peace.
These words are spoken behind your back, and of course, you’ve no idea that you’re being outed as a person who was controlling and unable to believe that they truly loved you.
#9 You Were Never Happy
Well, maybe sometimes you were sad, but that doesn’t mean you were never happy. We’re talking about somebody who:
- Constantly moved the goalposts
- Never praised you
- Always changed their mind to suit them
This is the definition of never happy, and how you always had to try to be seen, even though you never were.
The narcissist made sure there was always a problem, yet now it’s you who has to deal with that fallout for yourself.
#10 You Were Unfaithful
She cheated.
I saw the texts.
He was always flirting with women.
Not true. A million times, not true. But the more you try to speak up about your innocence, the less you’re believed.
It’s a case of protesting too much, but this dents your future, too, because it makes people not want to trust you and be close with you.
You’re stuffed either way. And you know the worst part of it is that you are the most faithful person, and you’d never dream of cheating on somebody who you love and are trying too hard to make it work with.
For you, love is love. For the narcissist, love is non-existent.
