With each turning page of the annual calendar, the narcissist gets that little more excited. When those ‘ber months roll round, they practically lose it with glee.
Why?
Because it is the narcissist’s prime time for playing all the manipulation games they’ve saved up and waited all year long to play.
To them, it’s a time of fun, where chaos and conflict rear their ugly heads. For you?
It’s a time of dread.
Let’s dive into the kinds of manipulation games narcissists play. I wonder how many you recognize.
#1 Snap!
Ah yes, the good old game of snap. Only this time, it involves no cards, and not much fun (for you anyway).
Narcissists will use the Holidays to snap at you for anything and everything, but when you zoom out, it’s really a lot of nothing.
Being on the receiving end is no fun though, especially when it’s the time of year everybody is supposed to be happy.
Why is it that you are left feeling like you’re walking on eggshells, and yet again, some kind of problem?
Snapping at you is designed to get you to fall in line with whatever the narcissist is trying to manipulate.
They want you to be apologetic and obedient, because that’s where they feel their most powerful.
#2 Gaslight-opoly
Moving around the pretend board, unable to collect any money for passing Go, there you are falling victim to gaslighting over and over again.
Don’t you remember last Christmas when you said you weren’t going to give gifts to your sisters?
I didn’t think you loved Christmas this much. I mean, what a waste to have so many lights on all at once. Don’t you think?
No. But you know what? They will be so good at convincing you that they’re right.
Only during the Holidays do these tactics really ramp up.
#3 Scramble your reality
Never mind scrambling letters in a bag and pulling out whatever word you can think of!
Narcissists will put all your memories in a metaphorical bag and shake it until you don’t know which way is up, down, left or right. When you go to pull one out, you won’t recognize it.
When was this?
It’s on the tip of my tongue.
That’s because you will be used to hearing:
No, it didn’t happen like that.
You’ve got it so wrong!
You must be getting forgetful the older you get.
Every year, narcissists wait until Christmas to ramp up their gaslighting games to manipulate you into thinking what they want you to think.
You have been warned!
#4 Boundary Twister
Right leg on the left! Or should I say:
Oh, is this your boundary? I am stepping over!
I’m not even going to ask you!
Narcissists love to work to break your boundaries as much as you prepare so hard all year for them to stay on their side of your opinions, morals and thoughts.
Don’t be at all surprised if it’s done in the most innocent of ways in a room full of people where you will have a hard time defending yourself or saying no.
This is where I urge you to be mindful of all the games narcissists play, so that you can still have the courage to stand up for what you believe in.
If that means reminding them of what you will tolerate, and what you won’t, then so be it!
#5 Trap!
Forget trapping little plastic mice under a net that you set up, this is all about trapping you and making you feel very uncomfortable.
Perhaps the narcissist cornered you into trying to recall a memory that they want to boast about.
They pick little keywords to prompt you, but you have nothing. Namely because what they are saying is all lies, and now you didn’t play along, they can punish you for it later.
Or what about trapping you into thinking they are mad at you from that frown across the room, when actually you’ve done nothing wrong at all.
The trap is the control, and believing it gives the narcissist all the power they need to be the one in charge.
#6 Hungry Egos
Throw the hippos in the trash, because this game is all about how much the narcissist can hoover from those around them.
The compliments, the attention, the hanging onto every word, falling for the charm. The narcissist doesn’t just want it all at Christmas, they expect it.
They wait all year to see these people, and to have them all gathered in one spot is highly satisfying.
Let me tell you, those egos are starving.
#7 Trivial Lies
Put away the general knowledge cards, and start looking at your knowledge on the lies of the narcissist.
Christmas with one will mean you are witness to at least several, and some of them may even involve you.
Think of it this way; a narcissist can be whoever they want to be at any given time or place. Do you think Christmas, surrounded by lots of other people will automatically mean they’re going to be honest?
I don’t think so!
Every time they open their mouth, a lie will fall out. If you know them well enough, you’ll be able to pick one out easily.
#8 Joy Jenga
As you meet up with people you don’t see all through the year, the joy builds and builds like blocks in a game of Jenga.
But wait, whose turn is it now?
The narcissist?!
This is where whatever it is they contribute to the conversation has the strong potential to knock down that tower of joy in less than a second.
People will glance at them and think, “Are you kidding?”
Believe it or not, this is the kind of game the narcissist waits all year to play, as it is their favorite kind of knock down way of treating people.
#9 Battleship … of the attention
Forget that the whole ship is under attack. There’s no E4 or B1 in this game, just the toxic torpedo of time at Christmas with a narcissist.
In a furious battle of who is the best in the room, the narcissist will battle anybody with a story or anecdote to tell.
They will run consistently for first prize in any way they can, but I ask you to think right now, who is their battle really with?
Nobody else wants to always be or look the best. Nobody else gets grumpy or angry if anybody has a joke or two to say and fill the room with laughter.
Let the narcissist battle, they never truly win anyway.
#10 Risk… of speaking up
It’s a risky game, risk! But during Christmas, narcissists will play it well, hoping to expose somebody else for an embarrassment they’d rather forget.
Making people look silly is one of their favorite ways of causing instant red faces, but narcissists will pick and choose the people who they think are the weakest, or least likely to answer back.
So if you speak up, you are not going to make it on next year’s Christmas card list!
Is that such a bad thing…?
