What Does The Narcissist Feel About “No Contact”?

Q: I have no contact now for 11 weeks. Before I had contact on and off. But that did hurt to much. I was wondering, what does the narcissist feel about this ‘no contact’ ? I think he is so angry about this, that there will be no contact anymore. Maybe I shouldn’t have this question, but it is a kind of revenge when he will feel this way. Thank you

A: No Contact is for the sanity and safety of the narcissist’s victim. It gives the victim time to heal and regain a sense of reality which they lost while under the influence of the narcissist. Different narcissists react differently. Some respond with considerable anger and will use any means they can to seek revenge on the person if they cannot persuade him or her to renew contact with them. Others will try to “win” this battle for a short time but quickly move on to an easier person to get Supply from. Still others will walk away and you will never hear from them again. They simply move on to other prey. With regard to your question about narcissists’ feelings…if you are asking will they feel hurt and betrayed the way you did, no they will not. They will feel frustration, anger at not winning, and anger at not getting Supply. Remember that ANY attention- good or bad- is Supply to them and they will keep coming back even if you give them negative attention. No Contact prevents them from obtaining any Supply.

Would you also like to ask us a question and see it answered on this website? Ask your Question Here!

Also Sign up for our Mailing list form in the sidebar ———–>

If We decide to answer your question you will see it on our RSS feed.

Share with your friends









Submit

About Alexander Burgemeester

13 Responses to “What Does The Narcissist Feel About “No Contact”?”

Read below or add a comment...

  1. Joe says:

    I can tell you as a narcissist a “no contact” would be pure evil for me. Some narcissist cut contact on their own as a form of control, others linger, and being told they can not contact kills them.

    Depending on how he is, yes, you are getting revenge. Not that this will fix anything but it will give you a little satisfaction I am sure.

  2. steph says:

    I had 4 years of this didnt want to believe what people were telling me about my so called boyfriend. I feel i lost those years of my thirties when I could have met a nice man. I hate the term moved on. seems a phrase people use to do what they like. He put me through emotional hell.

  3. Mary Maiden says:

    Maybe they’ll kill themselves. Maybe all the narcissists in the world will commit suicide when everyone abandons them and all the empaths, will feel nothing. The search for the narcissist is like trying to find which side of the mirror is flesh and blood so the mirror can be shattered.
    Narcissism isn’t real, what you’ll find is if you study this type of literature you will become a “narcissist”. Breaking contact with people you know and claim to love is cruelty, you’re lying to yourself if you think otherwise. That mental behavior, demonizing someone who may not even know the definition of narcissism, and then leaving them without explanation, is narcissistic abuse. Studying people, to the point you think they’re a narcissist and then dropping hints that they are, or reacting to them as if they were crazy, is Gaslighting. If you believe they’re cunning and smart and so much so that they’re not even human anymore they can manipulate you so well, then who is bitter and envious of other people’s success? I’m telling you right now, this over analysis of other people’s thoughts and motives, is schizophrenic, and it is poisoning an otherwise good well.

    • Alexandra says:

      No. The only gaslighting here is telling those who have or who are contemplating leaving an emotionally abusive relationship is that they are the selfish and disordered ones.

      Studying NPD does not cause people to take on the characteristics of the disorder. It enables them to make more informed choices with respect to how to handle those with NPD in their lives.

      And remember: No one owes another person a relationship, whether or not that person has NPD.

  4. Susie Johnson says:

    The Narcissist I had the misfortune to be involved with for almost three years aid that i “Neglected and rejected his a*s when I refusedmany contact with him. In that period of time he managed(thankfully) to finally move on.

  5. Susie Johnson says:

    I am finding these websites dealing with NPD to be very insightful and extremely helpful- I only wish that I could have found this info earlier

  6. Mel says:

    In no contact with the ex narcissist. What a jerk. Thinks he can just come in and out of my life without a thought for the hurt he causes. No more silent treatments for me I’m done. Go and get your supply somewhere else pal cause you ain’t getting no more from me.

  7. Queenforaday says:

    I dumped my N on Christmas Eve at 11pm and haven’t had any contact since. During the dump I think I called him every thing including Satan and then told him he was worse than the monsters who abused him in childhood. I think I was about an inch away from having a complete emotional breakdown after his every effort to psychologically rape me. I then exposed him to everyone in his circle. I turned into this mindless angry woman who wanted revenge. Now I feel remorse for stooping to his level but I’m hoping that besides establishing no contact with him that he will see it as the ultimate betrayal and rejection. If so then he will not contact me ever again. I am not doing well and am barely functioning at a level of normal right now though. He almost broke me completely.

    • Donna says:

      Anyone who brings you down to that level emotionally needs to b out of your life completely. You will get stronger and you will see that this person was really not what you need to grow as a person. Ok so you broke down and said hurtful stuff, but u were pushed to breaking point obviously,
      and maybe its not half as bad as the things u have been putting up with. Be around good people, set goals keep busy. It was just too taxing to b with that person . Take care 😊

    • Karen says:

      You are not a victim of narcissist BS anymore..you are a SURVIVE of it!!
      Keep telling this to yourself..when you feel anxious, breathe out..that anxiety is the abuse leaving your body. You are enough. You were abused. And again

      You are a survivor!

  8. Milkshake says:

    I did the same. I have had never been so depressed considering that I’m a foreign worker married to a narcisstic husband.

    On Xmas night, after countless times of psychological and physical abuse. I finally opened my eyes to see his true faces – caught him cheating on me throughout the whole proposal/marriage.

    Finally on new year day, I’ve managed to move out with helps from different friends.

    But the extent of physical and psychological damages are still too great for me to handle / considering how much financial and emotional support that I have provided for him…I would need a lot of time to heal – it does make me change into a different person – I find it hard to trust people.

    He completely shattered all my fundamental knowledge of being an human being – cuz he told me to stay in this country for him, invited my families over to attend our wedding and quited my job – to move to another city with him.

    I DID ALL of that…. and that Was how my nightmare began. I have had no idea what was going on – all these time I thought I’d have to try my best to save my marriage and he completely shattered all my dreams and plans because he has and used his ability to manipulate me and turned everyone against me but because of this, I know who my real friends are and I realize I’m a lot stronger than I thought I was.

    It took me couple weeks to find a new job and new place but it was a lot better and I love the place I’m in now.

    I become a workaholic – to keep my mind away from thinking about all the things I’ve been through.

    There are some good days and some bad days – sometime I’d cry. I miss our mutual friends a lot (well, I’m alone in this foreign land but Im slowly developing my own social circle and my life.) hey! We all are strong enough to stand on our feet.

    I’m just currently waiting to be legally separated for a year to file a divorce.

    I’m planning to write a book about what haPpened because I realize a lot of people have no idea what NPD is.

Leave A Comment...

*