Q: I am 18 months post-divorce from my narcissistic husband of 22 years which was extremely acrimonious. He is still with the person he cheated on me with. I cannot seem to detach from him even after the abuse and cheating. I am so lonely. How do I begin to move on?
A: Congratulations on your successful 18 months of freedom from abuse. Although it may not seem like success right now because of the loneliness, at least now you have the chance to have a happy life. Although it sounds easy when people say “just move on”… it can be quite difficult to move on from an NPD relationship. When any relationship ends it is hard on the person who was left, but in an NPD relationship the narcissist abused and used brainwashing techniques on you…you are truly a victim.
Because you are stuck where you are- he still has his hooks in you- I would strongly suggest that you see a therapist to help you stop being a victim and take back control of your life. Do as much reading on NPD as you possibly can- the more you understand who he is and how he victimized you, the easier it will become to move on.Especially read up on “Narcissistic Victim Syndrome” as I think it will help you to see yourself as a victim and to realize you don’t have to remain a victim. And lastly, try to stay busy so you won’t keep obsessing about him and HIS life–take up old hobbies or interests (or find new ones), go out to more activities you enjoy, and re-establish old friendships.
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