8 responses

  1. Morbid Jealousy Help
    January 24, 2014

    I am currently in a very abusive relationship. My husband which I have self diagnosed him through internet research, is a classic morbid jealousy/delusional jealousy with other schizophrenic and obsessive tendencies. I am at the point where I am literally fearful of my life to leave him, and I don’t want my leaving to affect the children as they are very attached to him. He is a wonderful father, but horrible husband. My children are small and will eventually be able to realize that daddy is being mean to mommy. I don’t want this. And I want to be able to live my life in peace. I’m tired of being interrogated everyday, I’m tired of being estranged from my family and friends, not being able to watch movies or TV because I’m watching because I want to look at other men, I’m tired of keeping useless receipts so I can prove where I have been, and I am tired of laying awake at night wondering what he might do to me if I fall asleep before him.

    Lately I have tried to convince him that he has a mental illness, but the only response I get is, “if you have time to be looking stuff up on the internet, then you should have left the office and came home, what else are you looking up? this is cheating talk”

    When he was in his last episode I tried to be very loving and nurturing to him, even though I wanted to really choke him, and then he gets suspicious and to why am I so lovey-dovey, who have I been around today.

    So then I try the when you act this way I ignore you routine. This was a big failure, only escalating is violent rage.

    I feel I have tried all venues, and at a lost as to what I should do.

    Please advise.

    • sal
      February 1, 2014

      Save money. Document. Everything. And send it to safe people. Notes from work such as daily diary whatever,…. Have secret safety plans. Inform your family, his family, and your friends of what’s happening. And let your coworkers know you are to be expected at work. Use safety code words when calling in. You are and your children are in danger. You need to leave. Not just leave but prepare for being potentially stalked after you do. This guy will not stop once you leave. I wish you the best. Please. Be safe.

      • mitzi
        April 7, 2014

        ABSOLUTELY, and gain all the strength and support you can master around you, people that are not intimated by him, others that actually believe his lies and manipulation, they might even turn against you out of support for this poor Narc. YOU ARE IN DANGER, and there are kids involved, luckily there arent in my situation. The violent rage will only escalate over time, what is first a full beating up will become broken noses, bones, legs, body….and he will stalk you, I live in a compound and during the times his rages are completely out of control, I leave and stay a few days with friends, staying is unbearable and unsafe……being loving and nurturing doesn’t get you anywhere, the love we all feel for those loved ones around us is met with aggression, manipulation, intimidation etc, I always found that the more I was loving the more respect – if any – he’d loose for me, it would be a sign of weakness….BE STRONG AND SAFE!!!

  2. aimee kat
    January 25, 2014

    Geat post! I do have legal evidence to use against my NMother. Evidence that she abused children and allowed others to abuse her children…except not her perfect golden child- she abuses her in their own special way.My mother hits all points on the npd scale and she rages underneath her cool exterior. I am considering exposing my mother to the small community we are from. I have a file and I know the DA will pick up felony child abuse charges on her.I have only held off until I could move away to a safe pace because I know ripping off her nmask will make her rage. I just feel like I have put up with enough abuse from her. I feel someeone should stop her from abusing children! The truth is on my side…but I know the stakes messing around with someone who thinks they are a God. I have noticed dropping the hints about it has already made her go into ignore mode. I know there is a great chance she will commit perjury on the stand…as she never tells the truth. Thankfully I have outside agencies backing me. NMothers are horrible because while your simply loving them-they are messing up their childrens heads,hearts,and minds.No one is above the law…even if they think they are! Thanks for this website!

  3. Altair
    May 30, 2014

    May god bless the work you have shown and worked for, so the people that fall under this catagory will be exposed and that justice will finally be shown to those in these sitituations with people like these narcissit.

  4. GOTTHETSHIRT
    June 16, 2014

    Narcisists are a breed of their own, the irony being they think they are unique but there is a large band of them living secret destructive lives. The key is to break the secrecy.Their lies and shenanigans, the gas lighting and other methods of compartmentalizing their activities is all done so no one person knows the full picture.
    Break the secrecy, talk to our friends ( if the narc hasnt already isolated you from them ), realise that the rollercoater they keep you on is NOT NORMAL. You are feeding them and filling THEIR void.
    If you have children, you MUST put them first.Children of narcissists can grow into deeply damaged dysfunctional adults who cannot trust, cannot relate and can often end up in similar relationships. BREAK THE CYCLE, GET AWAY FROM THE NARC, TAKE YOUR CHILDREN!!
    Narcissism is the most insidious of personality diosorders as it takes along time to realise, if you are lucky enough to realise, that your partner is a narcissist. Its like putting a jigsaw together and when the realisation comes, its like a thunderbolt. It takes time to get away, time to rebuild but when you are physically then emotionally distanced from the narcisist, you will feel stronger, and at peace.
    The key things are TALK TO OTHERS, KEEP EVIDENCE: TEXT/DOCUMENTS/DIARIES that reflect his or her behaviours.SEEK ADVICE: from childrens agencies, refuge/ support groups, friends and family.
    AND REMEMBER: It is not your fault, they will behave like this with every partner they have, it is only a matter of time before their personality and behaviour reverts to their type, i.e that of a narcissist, everyone there to serve their needs.
    On a personal note: I was emotionally, sexually and financially abused and exploited by a narcissist. I have just taken my narcissist to court and won.The exposure is their nightmare and i dreaded gointgto court, but i am so glad i did.

    • razzleBdazzleMe
      June 23, 2014

      GOTTHESHIRT,

      You are absolutely right. I finally jumped off of the emotional rollercoaster that was my narcissist and looking back, I realized that they are REALLY good at getting into your head and assuming whatever role you want them to play. This guy was a chef by trade, but seriously should be an actor…His performances were flawless. They draw you in, make you comfy and very slowly begin to flip the script so that their behaviors are undetectable.

      Towards the end of our relationship as the pieces began to fall together and I started the exit plan, his act got really sloppy-which was great because I got to see him fall apart. The rage thing was shocking because he was always even-tempered with me.

      Exposing the secrets, mirroring his behavior was like watching a shock therapy reality show because he had to constantly scramble to get a new game plan while trying to keep his composure, because in his world, he was perfect. I never knew how disrespectful he is to others, especially women.

      But it’s cool-I’m free, totally at peace. He attempts to contact me, but I never respond. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

  5. nitro
    June 19, 2014

    I never imagined I would ever find myself locked in w/someone afflicted mentally w/any type of disorder ever. But, looking back on past family relationships and lovers I realize that its more likely than not that I have been involved w/ppl depicting some of the behaviors mentioned above. Fast forward to present times and I’m totally convinced that my boss is a narcissit. Not just a narcissist, but a covert one. Its likely that my current love interest is on too, but in a more mild form if there’s any such thing. She’s variable and does try to accommodate me at times if I start to feel her bite too much. She is a Leo Sun w/a Leo moon and pure Leo. So some of that is likely to just be her nature. The boss though, she’s an angry and mean Scorpio. Seems to me that most Scorpios (male or female) seem to have that spoiled, selfish, false sense of seniority – its sickening. She’s the one I visit this website about. All the stuff mentioned above to beat her at her own game, did become a part of my daily run through w/her. I realized I had to lay on the compliments and flirts but shut down when she flipped the script. One minute she’d be adoring me and as soon as certain ppl come around she wants to impress or she see’s me talking to someone, she seems to get angry and begin to try and embarrass me or put me down. The mistake I make is getting angry and telling her she’s wrong for yelling & cursing at me. That’s when she goes into that speech about how she’s the boss and I’m GONNA LISTEN TO HER! After that I find myself sent home early from work and losing hours. Hey, I can be real and say she’s sexy, sassy, funny (at times) and has a nice round rump and tight thighs that make me drewl. She and I have flirted a lot in the past and apart from her flip flops, I really do like her actually. I don’t like power and control and never really cared much that I was involved w/ppl who did. I could let her have all the control she wants BUT, she has to realize that I will shaft her a!s back if she strikes the wrong nerve. I’m very patient and loyal, but there is a line and my vicious temper when its crossed. Recently we had a big argument. She assaulted me at work, the cops got called, the head office was there… it was crazy. I’m not gonna quit the job, but worry how I can sort of repair the r’ship w/her. I mean, I know the type of person she is and many people have tucked and ran. I though, have been working for her a year and learned a lot about her triggers through some of the conflicts we’ve had. I like my boss and she’s a narc. Lol! Now I just have to get us back to our flirty fun r’ship. How do I do that?

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